Today, the favorite activity of the four kids I'm babysitting is running up to me when I least expect it and farting on me. I can't even sit down without them attacking me with their butts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
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Top comments
christian_slate 16
Do you happen to be babysitting a 26-year-old man who also uses this site?
Becca34 31
Makes me never want kids. Ever.
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Comments (47)
Becca34 31
Makes me never want kids. Ever.
mattyiscool123 26
Just remember though, stuff like this may not always happen
Gabriel1LT 18
how do 4 kids have that many farts? do they at least stink?
christian_slate 16
Do you happen to be babysitting a 26-year-old man who also uses this site?
nicole1765 14
lol I was just thinking that.
vikky538 29
Ha ha
lovebooks07 15
Well that is an... interesting favourite activity
NYM88 26
Butt.. Butt.. They arse just trying to have fun!
mattyiscool123 26
No
stupidpplsuck 33
While this isn't exactly harmful, I would definitely talk to them about why they shouldn't do that and how it's a rude thing to do. Depending on their ages they may not really know it's unacceptable behavior. If they are old enough to know better or just continue to do it regardless, then I'd talk to their parents about whats happening and a possible solution and if necessary a punishment.
huotuotuo_fml 13
Depends on you family. Fart are either a disgusting lack of manners or the best joke in the world. I prefer the latter. Who doesn't fart? Might as well enjoy it
Garrett2818 21
Hey I'm all good with crackin a good fart off here and there. But to be persistently bombarded with them probably stops being funny real fast.
stupidpplsuck 33
21 I agree that it does depend on the family, but from how the post was worded I figured that they were not from the same family. It's one thing to do this to your family or even friends, however when it's someone else like a babysitter or something or the person says to stop they need to know that farting ON the person is not acceptable. If they were in school they would get in trouble for this even though farting is a natural thing and people can't choose to stop it; they can choose if they are going to encroach on someones personal space and fart on them purposely.
katachristic 19
There's a huge difference between laughing at a fart and four people repeatedly trying to fart ON you. That's rude no matter how you look at it, especially if the person you're doing it to is clearly unamused.
izzajaneful 24
Of course they know it's unacceptable. That's why they find it funny.
egnur_mas 19
Wait till they find out that they shouldn't trust a fart!
Mixed_steel 23
Dafuq do those kids eat?
wmayrhofer 18
Vegetarian diet?
RememberSchlitz 9
All these fart stories get so much worse once you know how smell works.