Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
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Top comments
lolajelly 0
why the hell would you use a leaf? tempted by their amazing absorbent properties??
stephfml 0
hahah you shouldve just used your shirt
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Comments (81)
vitaminsandminer 0
i dont understand why you used a leaf... how would that help?
alyssa_22 0
Wow I've never heard of someone wiping their face sweat with a leaf. In any case, you could have at least looked at the leaf first.
Dhansta 0
you wanna hope he never sees you spell as well
mrcarmine 0
that was pretty unreasonable of you in so many ways lol
meandmoi_fml 0
You got shitfaced while jogging with a guy...I would be impressed.
simplysmile 0
who cares if you are sweating? don't be lame. besides, being sweaty is sexy to guys....sometimes hahaha
commonsense31 0
I don't even know what to say besides this is utter stupidity the guy would probably rather have a generally smart sweaty girl rather then one that tries wiping sweat with a leaf. f***ing A a leaf really you shouldve grabbed a small dog instead lmfao or maybe bring a sweat towel? Hmm too simple forgot hahaha
gqduck 0
Just so you know, a guy isn't going to blame you for sweating while working out. In fact, he might even like it a lot
cantth1nk0fnam3 3
why would you use a leaf
audiogasmic 0
First, why the **** would you use a leaf? That's what your shirt sleeve is for.. Secondly, if you feel comfortable enough with him to go running there should be a level of understanding between you two that you're both going to be sweaty and gross. If you are of the superficial mindset that you always have to look like you just stepped out of a music video around him, then you'll never start dating him anyways. Sorry, that was kind of harsh. >.>