Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML
Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML
Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML
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Top comments
Ambient25 25
I hope you didn't have your mouth open
gc327072 31
Damn, it's only Wednesday and you're already getting shitfaced? I wanna party with you, OP!
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Comments (76)
Boopycat 15
So many puns to be made
AntiPrude 26
Maybe you should of tried it.
Soniye 14
Shitfaced already are we now OP ?! Lol
swaggalikethat 22
Birds: Chirp chirp (hey Op,look up!) Op: "looks up, gets shitted on" Birds:"laughing, high fiveing each other, fly away" Shoulda blew those little bastards right outta the sky, that would show them
x_the_lancer_x 13
Ehh, you gotta be careful about those things! But still, there really wasn't anything you could have done about that. FYL!
michaelaranda 28
op could've just kept walking. still, its not a ydi.
Ambient25 25
I hope you didn't have your mouth open
little_excel 5
Yup facefull is so much better than mouthful haha
Ambient25 25
Lol just Google "Reporter Bird Poop"
BoltTheSuperdog 22
#15 Exactly what I thought of!
aligator121 15
Shhhhh! It's just some sticky snow
Daryen_rawwwr 7
what a SHITTY situation. First pun c;
gc327072 31
This pun is so ******* overused; I'VE HAD IT!
AntiPrude 26
You just had to add "First pun" at the end, didnt you..
cuppycakeslove 20
Just stop.
Ambient25 25
See this is why aliens won't talk to us
PenguinBitch 44
@5 First pun and your last
evan_7899 28
Exactly, what if the first transmission they get is Honey Boo Boo and they are so repulsed by the human garbage they are so they just blow us to fiery hell with their mega laser.
tman1985 9
I would be afraid to see the FML that this pun does not get buried for
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
No, just no.
gc327072 31
Damn, it's only Wednesday and you're already getting shitfaced? I wanna party with you, OP!
lissa_jade 22
did you honestly expect that NOT to happen ?
Allennis44 16
Yes?
Jseldi 10
I think you scared the shit out of it :/
saraitkddh 47
I just hope none entered your mouth or eyes
AntiPrude 26
Struck by flying shit. Theres a more majestic way to think of it.