Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
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Top comments
lolajelly 0
why the hell would you use a leaf? tempted by their amazing absorbent properties??
stephfml 0
hahah you shouldve just used your shirt
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Comments (81)
anaphaseii 0
Better yet, why did you use a LEAF? Like, how does that even work?
pwnushka 0
well you see, most leaves have little hairs or Stuff pile that on them. They leaves pick up the sweat on your body and thats how it works
supersitter 11
Yeah but no one is dumb enough to wipe their face on one. No offense OP, next time though use your shirt.
DDDDana 0
Some guys think its cute when girls sweat. My boyfriend does!
lolol182 4
use your shirt
Assmilk 0
You're not supposed to be attractive when you're sweating. Dumb ****.
greenman_fml 0
Girl sweat is gross. Girls should glisten. Hold that shit in ladies. If I see those little droplets of salty liquid I just start punching
kaisleysuire 0
you didnt look at the leaf first?
PointedRound 0
look before you wipe
andelizastrin 0
Everyone sweats, my dear. If he thought it was gross that you were sweating, then he's the one that has the issues. I don't understand guys who think that girls are gross when we do similar things that they do... I also agree with #11. We glisten sexily :) And #8 is amazing.
Sulk 0
Ahhh I thought I was the only one to use leaves as an impromptu towel. I always use the biggest leaf nearby to apply pressure to a bleeding cut. I say always, it rarely happens...
imhawaiian 0
Sweating is good for you, if you weren't sweating you would've overheated and fell and passed out then what?!?