Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML
Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML
Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
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Top comments
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Sounds like Urine trouble.
Tarlachia 33
Don't beat around the bush. Tell her urine the area to pee, and she needs to piss off already.
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Comments (12)
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Sounds like Urine trouble.
Tarlachia 33
Don't beat around the bush. Tell her urine the area to pee, and she needs to piss off already.
Regulate 21
That poor bush. Too perfect for it's own good.
Sparx1_1 16
You're both disgusting. YDI
Tarlachia 33
Don't ever go camping then. The horrors of life will slap you in the face.
Tarlachia 33
Don't ever go camping then. The horrors of life will slap you in the face.
imnotcleverenoughforthis 14
I don't know. I feel like you kind of lose your right to call someone else a pervert when you're exposing yourself in public. Maybe that's just me.
RichardPencil 32
You probably should have engaged in some friendly small talk before you complimented her on her perfect bush. Timing is everything.
GhostFox 34
You're lucky that she wasn't a kid and that a kid didn't hear her and come looking- if you had your genitals out in either case you could have been labeled a sex offender. I believe that public urination is illegal to boot. Should probably try to plan a route that has easy bathroom access, just to avoid that risk in the future. It's also a good idea so you don't end up defecating somewhere- not only do you risk legal charges if anyone sees you, but it could also cause people to get very sick.
ThrottleJockey 36
Urinating and defecating are two entirely different things.
GhostFox 34
That doesn't stop people from doing both in public places that they think don't count as "public" just because they can't be seen. And, being blunt, runners- especially marathon runners- are a bit infamous for dropping trow, doing their foo, and continuing their run because the exercise stimulates their bowels. "Runner's *****"- look it up. People who walk long distances develops the same problem with bathroom urgency.
Fatigued Gamer 3
Sounds like it really WAS the perfect bush.