Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lolajelly 0
why the hell would you use a leaf? tempted by their amazing absorbent properties??
stephfml 0
hahah you shouldve just used your shirt
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
lightningRODman 0
there's nothing wrong w/ a girl sweating, so long as there's not too much B.O LOL #8
MadeOfAwesome 1
Umm, since you were running, he wasn't exactly expecting your face to glowing and fresh. If you're really than insecure tho, use your shirt or a little towel
Bedford_Sparkz 0
No one cares if you sweat, its natural, it means your body is trying to cooldown, and also leafs arent very absorbent... That guy has problems if he thinks that girls are stupid or crazy if they sweat... :P
cmac86 24
if you're running sweating isn't a turnoff Hun. unless you're the size of a manatee.
InfernalFML 1
Just tell him that bird crap is your secret formula for stoping B.O. and see if he buys it. (He won't.)
nikki456123 0
birds don't wipe Sherlock
vietmanx 10
why can't u just use tha back of ur hand or wrist
b_rad_fml 4
HAHAHA YDI! If you're out exercising then OF COURSE you're gonna be sweating! That's why you exercise in the first place! Stop being such a priss, sweat like a human and get over yourself!
sarah2144 14
The way this was worded was great lmao. But yeah. Why would you use a leaf?
trulymickeyj 13
Sweatiness a normal thing so whatever. But check the leaf first!