Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself
Mauskau 36
If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD
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Comments (240)
MosephMatar515 6
I laughed so hard after reading this!!
Anumayis 34
My boyfriend did the same penis-slapping thing. he's still amazed by it.
Captain_Flappers 7
He's a keeper
The_9th_Doctor 18
I feel so sorry for you. time to get someone new
DickChappy99 6
The first times always a bit awkward
CoriCat 25
Two minutes isn't that bad. It's longer than most.
ilmanator 7
has he ever masturbated before wtf
CoriCat 25
Most guys don't last very long until you start having regular sex. Don't be so whiny. Your first time isn't going to be amazing.
MsMarchBaby 5
That's so like crazy
aaashketchum 21
No round 2?!