Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
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Top comments
KiwiBlu 0
That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
JayCanDance 0
Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.
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Comments (190)
sublime93 0
"Flaky deliciousness" lmfao. But yea, fyl. Croissants. Are delicious. I'm sorry they beyrayed you
ritzy05 1
that's SO gross, were they from costco? I remember when I was little, we went to go buy some and ALL of the "fresh" packages had bugs!!
jaxsk 0
I call bullshit. Spiders don't live in families, unless they just hatched out or something and didn't have time to scatter... but you probably would have noticed the large webby egg sack in your food if you had been eating it.
Ommis 0
ha, u ate babies.....spider babies.
scenicroute 0
You do realize that if they were not completely dead/dissolved before they reached the stomach they would after they left the stomach. The acids in your stomach are very strong and would surely kill the babies if they weren't already dead. Besides, most spiders carry their babies on their back so it is possible she may not have eaten any spiders at all. Sorry you had this gross experience.
deathbunny256 0
Shut up. Of course spiders can be born in your stomach. Especially the type of spider that can take a joke.
alwaysalady 0
Every time I read somehting like this, I relize that nothing is truly safe. The spiders are everywhere. And they are taking over. I hate spiders.
Ashter 20
Sick. Like the apple with half a worm thing...so disgusting. I feel for you.
shelboo_fml 0
As long as he didn't kill Kenny.
a_kiwi 0
Too bad there are so many types of spiders... Let's ask google. 34000. And guess what? They don't all act the same.
pyroanarchist23 0
owned
Summer_2009 0
OH. MY. GOD. That is so disgusting!
deathbunny256 0
The other white meat.
darkmis1 18
That's just ****** nasty!!!!!!!!
MidstOfDarkness 0
N'awwwwwww~ Yuck yuck yuck yuck! I don't think I want to touch a croissant again! *gives you a hug* you poor thing!