Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML
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Top comments
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
A real friend would have offered to clean it up before you even asked.
amberstar87 13
I don't think I would invite her to my house again if that is how she is going to act.
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Comments (101)
amberstar87 13
I don't think I would invite her to my house again if that is how she is going to act.
jake_braves 25
A true friend would've apologized and cleaned up the mess for you...
mwali02 32
Absolutely. A real friend would already be cleaning that up before you even asked! How did they even make it to the close friend category? Sounds like a rotten friend and questionable parenting.
OSMC 10
tell her, "no kid or no contact", or just make better class of friend
maydayyparade 27
if I was you I wouldn't talk to her ever again, she's not a good friend if she doesn't help you with what her child did in the first place
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
A real friend would have offered to clean it up before you even asked.
meli1195 31
hate parents that don't deal with their kid's messes. some kid knocked over a mannequin and broke it at the store I work at the other day. the parents just looked and walked away.
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
One time at work, a kid climbed on and broke a sign that took me 20 minutes to set up. The mom just said "oh" then continued shopping. Not even a "I'm sorry". People suck.
MariaGiovanni 25
Agree. OP end the friendship now. It's common courtesy and common sense to not have your kid act up in someone else's house and if they do she should have helped clean up (and depending on the kids age had the kid help as well) and just left. My son is one and when he makes a mess he asks for a napkin and cleans up after himself. We're not even strict with him we just teach him things happen but to respect people and places.
imnotc00l 10
#16 your one year old asks for napkins? Impressive.
MariaGiovanni 25
22 yes he does. He's such a handful but also such a great little guy and loves to help. But to be fair he's 21 months so almost 2.
MonstreBelle 29
I will never understand parents who behave this way. I would be SO embarrassed if my daughter made a mess and I had to be asked to help clean up her mess instead of just going ahead and doing it myself; let alone getting upset about being asked to clean up a mess my child made. And my daughter would definitely be helping. I know that I wouldn't even have to tell her, she would just do it.
HylianTwilight 21
Ha, guess I was mildly lucky once. Some kids purposefully made a mess in the restaurant I worked at long ago, and the parents asked me for cleaning utensils so their kids had to clean it up themselves. Good parenting then, the others are just dickbags.
DoomedGemini 38
Not a thing a friend OR parent should do. Even if we were in a strangers house or in a public place, my mom would make sure I clean up any messes I make.
MariaGiovanni 25
39 The restaurant I worked at wouldn't allow guests to clean up after themselves. One time a large family had a reservation and had a separate kids table that was literally coated with rice and beans (Mexican restaurant) and the parents asked for at least a broom to hsve the kids help and my manager told me to tell them it's okay and we'll clean it. I said it nicely but they got offended somehow and left frustrated and didnt even leaving a nice tip. meh.
thawny_fml 21
I almost got fired from a job for ignoring a customer because she was ignoring the mess her kid was making by knocking all the stuff off the shelves if just replenished.
countryb_cth 38
I can't believe you almost got fired for that. Like the kid is making a mess and the parent isn't doing anything, I personally wouldn't want to help them either. Probably would have told her if she wants my help she can clean up the mess her kid made first.
Batkid217 14
that's just a messy situation all around.
StiffPvtParts 43
Note to self: Don't ever have kids ( °~°)
MariaGiovanni 25
Kids aren't the issue. Bad parenting is. The mom clearly has no sense of common courtesy so why would the child?
StiffPvtParts 43
You're right, and I couldn't agree more. I know it might seem a little extreme to say, but some people just shouldn't have kids.
sallen14 8
"Close friends" don't do that.
Rawrshi 25
I guess they're going to be seriously offended when you tell them their child is no longer allowed in your house. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
olpally 33
Time for a new friend... Wow, she is really in denial. Smh.
helptheorphans 17
Your "friend" was offended
donuts678 25
She is not fit to be a parent if she doesn't take responsibility over her kid