Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
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Top comments
KiwiBlu 0
That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
JayCanDance 0
Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.
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Comments (190)
KiwiBlu 0
That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
Corrupt_Tears 0
I guess you didn't hear the one about the homeless guy putting his dirty laundry in with someone elses clean clothes to dry. This reminds me of this story I heard on tv recently. A person had her bathroom cieling covered in spiders.
darkshadow_fml 0
nahhh Gonna have to say possibly eating half a family of spiders is worse than just having your clothes dirtied by hobo clothes
forsberg21 0
luckily for us the FDA allows roughly 8% of bugs in food...i'de say you got about 10% lol
redsox112 0
yeah do u realize in sugar manufactures get like tons of spiders/bugs that crawl in the industrial sized bins and get smashed into the sugar and other products mmmm kool aid, oh yeah
phreshboi 1
lol 207 and WTF, what place restaurant would let them serve that?! unless I'm reading it wrong please correct me
JinxSNC 0
I bet the OP kept eating it.
hahaohwell 0
he could have been at home eating it
shelbygordon44 7
Om nom nom nom
idkhaha 4
First of all it doesn't say OP was at a resturaunt, and second, if it was just cooked the spiders couldn't possibly be alive inside it. The heat would've killed them.
imhope 23
That's disgusting lol
JayCanDance 0
Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.
memyselfandi_fml 0
oh ew that's disgusting!! You better check on the hygiene conditions of the bakery!
happykate120 0
they were trying to add more protein to his diet...duh
mwali02 32
I would report the store or the bakery. That is unacceptable.
4dakill 0
2nd!!!!!!!!
4dakill 0
I failed
knaevery 17
No, actually, 4th. And OP... That's the scariest thing I've ever read. Reminds me of the time I started eating a cookie and looked at the packet and saw the maggots crawling around. I then noticed the sensation of something squirming in my mouth. And when I went to wash out my mouth, I felt something on my foot and looked down to see a giant spider crawling up my leg. It wasn't a good day.
isantorin 0
:( That sucks, dude. I'm sorry.
SCENERICEFARMER 0
i feel yaaaaa i had oatmeal once, and it was amazing until i realized that in with the oatmeal were mealworms. DELICIOUS PROTEIN BOOST /puke
maxson_fml 0
o_O "plastered" and "spider" don't even come /close/ to rhyming.
deathbunny256 0
Haha best comment ever.
StaticDown 0
Yeah, this is what I would put but it's still not really good... Spider spider on the wall Ain't you got no brains at all? Can't you see that wall's been plastered? Get off that wall you stupid bastard...
allylalala 0
ooooh kayy i just gagged
unlucky_angel02 0
4th you idiot.
leader0011 5
you fail, but thanks for trying
Kennzz 0
Reminds me of the time I bought a honeybun from a gas station and halfway through I noticed there was mold in it.
smtm2012 6
4dakill you're a dumbass
acroatic 0
I am never eating another croissant again.
hobrahtakeiteasy 0
lolol Im with you there and op that sux that's just ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
EmyB_fml 8
ha I'll still eat croissants, I'll just cut it up into bite size pieces to make sure no family of spiders ends up in my belly
TheCupcakeNinja 0
How the hell?! That's the most awful thing I've heard, I'm pretty sure.
redxapplexoxo 0
Um, I'm sure you went to the bathroom and gagged yourself, no?
ILIEKGIRLS 5
THAT'S ******* SICK
toastygoat 0
I love how this is worded. ''One of the holes of flaky deliciousness.'' Though YDI for eating their home.
philadelphianus 0
hahahaha
deathbunny256 0
For Britney Spears.
yellowIA 0
ditto lmbo!
pyroanarchist23 0
i think it means "laughing my balls off"
homedoggieo 0
Hey, I bought it from a respectful real estate broker. Bitch told me the former tenants had been evicted, these guys were just squatters :(
w00t_fml 0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I was axctually seriously in the middle of eating a fresh croissant as I read through the new FML's like every morning during breakfast. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT S TERRIBLE!!!! NO NO NO NO NO I once bit into a cockroach that was in a croissant - from a highly reputable place, too. Oh you poor thing...URGH
smellymeaty 0
I hope you got compensation and had them have an inspection and have never eaten there again, that's gross, dude.
bexox 0
Ew... I don't think I'm going to eat a croissant any time soon. That literally makes me nauseous