Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
AnFrickenTwan 19
Whelp, time to shave your head
jimeple 12
I have no idea what the gestation period is for spiders but I suggest you look it up.
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Comments (41)
Wallsinator 3
Who knows? Maybe it wasn't the same spider.
AnFrickenTwan 19
Whelp, time to shave your head
gabechriswill 19
At least you don't have any spider bites on your head.
nash1991 20
I would suggest you burn your hair away just to be safe, but you've already suffered enough trauma as it is.
anonymous0110902 20
As an american i reccommend suing the spider and seeing therapist for your psychological brain damage
Crossing 17
American*
chuka81 27
I have seen grammar Nazis, but 7 must be Hitler himself.
Crossing 17
Actually no. Since people want to continously say "somthing Americans would do," or "Only in America". They could atleast capitalize it properly. Since, you know. Only in America.
anonymous0110902 20
Lmao it's a joke. I'm not criticizing anybody don't be so butthurt by my comment that you feel the need to counter
ohthebloodygore 16
Why are you all idiots? Only in America...
Shade0000 9
Everyone has their moments
SpartyOnWayne 18
It's not the end of the world, OP! I'm sure the spider was more scared of you than you were of him. After all, you did crash headfirst into its home
jimeple 12
I have no idea what the gestation period is for spiders but I suggest you look it up.
aelabed 17
More like ingestion rate
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
It's not a face hugger, 24
embarass 14
I have really thick hair and I've had bees, flies and spiders getting stuck in it just from being outdoors I feel you OP lol I hope it didn't bite your head
socialproduct 19
That sounds terrifying
RememberSchlitz 9
Wash your hair. Wash it again. And again. Never, ever stop washing your hair.
lolerm8 12
good protein