Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
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Top comments
KiwiBlu 0
That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
JayCanDance 0
Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.
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Comments (190)
Yoshi8466 0
I second #44!!!!!!
LadySylvan 0
I just threw up in my mouth a little. Eurgh.
waterynuggets 0
Obvious fake is obvious.
PhinsGirl 0
LOL!
skiBOAT 0
Maybe the family of spiders just got together to go out to dinner in this person's flakily delicious crossaint. FYL, OP. Eww. Lovely wording though.
tweetie0918 0
Ok, where did you get the crossaint from??? I live in NC and do not want that to happen to me!!
echnie 0
Wow! Amazing how a whole family of spiders can survive an oven of 180 degrees Celcius...
therearesecrets 0
BS.
plethora 3
Old meme is old.
deathbunny256 0
Big people are big.
waterynuggets 0
And FML has now become a meme. failol.
nightmare22 0
Aw man alot of people are saying they are going to have nightmares well......what so bad about a nightmare?
jessamyn_it_is 0
But.. how?! I mean, aren't those fresh made? Like, baked? They would be dead after baking. Or maybe it was not fresh, then it all is possible. Whatever - ugh :( Put it in a bag and throw it back at the seller's face. FYL :(
greenltrn2003 0
ummm...not everyone uses Pilsberry the croissant coulda came from a store maybe...or a donut shop
brrrx 0
Hahahahahahahaha so you're telling me that only Pillsbury croissants are cooked? Shit...I just had one earlier today and it wasn't Pillsbury, I hope I don't get salmonella or anything. OP: It's SCUTTLED. Spiders do not scuddle.
fxdxhk90 0
Idiot, perhaps the spiders got there after the croisssant was baked.
Cromwellsandwich 0
How would a family of spiders get into the raw dough? If anything, they got in after it was baked.
homedoggieo 0
My best guess is they scuttled in while these croissants were sitting on my counter for three days in a package somebody forgot to close.