Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KiwiBlu 0
That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
JayCanDance 0
Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
XanimalloverX 0
the eating spiders is a myth i just found out, http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp i thought it was true i feel really stupid hahaha
kissmyAzz 0
poetry schmoetry...wtf is scuddled? I thought it was 'scuttled'?
k_cool 0
poor little spider home. I wonder what they were thinking when a giant set of human teeth came crashing throught their pastry walls... sucks worse for you, though.
xxXChiiXxx 2
LMAO I love how this is worded, "flaky deliciousness". :D
summer99 0
ugh thats so gross. hopefully you didn't eat any of them...
1234five 0
Flaky deliciousness? Sorry but u sound like a douche
tagyoureit 0
............................................................... I'm so sorry.
missmarley93 1
AHHHH GROSS!!!!! omg I'm terrified of spiders, I think I would literally faint if that happened to me. ughh thats sick! fyl!!!!
cylque 0
:(
CFR 0
Omg that's so horrifying O.o My sister and I just bought a huge box of them for a recipe. I'VE GOT TO WARN HER! *flies off* Sorry...she has arachniphobia. I hope you're not completely traumatized though... I mean look on the bright side, if you get lost in the woods without food you can always remember that you didn't notice the taste of a spider because you were eating a croissant and you'll survive...Maybe? No? Alright. Well I hope you're okay anyways =)