Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, while in bed with my husband, we were discussing our fears. Mine being the Doomsday Clock. He giggled and made me feel silly about my (rational if you ask me) fear. I let out a tiny toot, and he jumped and screamed bloody murder. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
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Top comments
Frickmetinajenks 0
Lol, get used to it. It won't be as funny a couple years into marriage.
TheB0a 5
The giggles is what makes this funny. Who giggles after supposedly ******** their pants, lolZ.
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Comments (85)
Frickmetinajenks 0
Lol, get used to it. It won't be as funny a couple years into marriage.
urdirtyolduncle 15
I know, right! They aren't even married yet and already he's putting them in "shitty" situations.
ibitehard 9
So your fiancé is five???
Aerious 0
50, it could've been a joke.
tararenee93 3
bahaha
Frickmetinajenks 0
I had to refrain from screaming first. I really enjoy those long messages Sirin posts.
youfailed18 0
Wow....
rockzr15 5
time to change the sheets...
frank_b102 9
I think you meant change the ***** number 6
moat 0
I'm about to eat breakfast.
Doortje 30
Fiancé hm? That means you still have the opportunity to break things off!
Jupsi_fml 12
It's an accident, I assume that he doesn't do that twice a week... would you really break off your engagement for such a thing ?
Acousticpixie14 6
But he giggled about it...that's where this is wrong on so many levels. If he had the runs, okay then, but crapping in bed? Ugh! I'm sorry you're engaged to that, OP, get out while you can!
MrBond007_fml 6
what was he supposed to do cry, cuz I did that once when I was 4 I crapped my pants and cried, but if I ever shit my pants again I'm just going to laugh it off
Acousticpixie14 6
Okay, I could understand trying to "laugh it off" and maybe force out a chuckle as you are getting a fresh pair of underwear/pants after an initial "Goddammit" But seriously, a giggle and a "maybe" along with OP not saying anything about him making an attempt to change his soiled clothes, that is just disgusting and immature.
Gstone 4
62 wht you didnt think bout is that OPs fiance farted extremely loud, and sometimes when a guy farts that loud you say i think i shit my pants when its not true, its just a way of saying; i do it from time to time when im in my room and my mom asks wtf happened, i answer either i think i shit myself or i think i ripped my pants. its just to make it funny. so OP dont break off the engagement cuz of something like tht.
FarSide 23
Come on guys! Be honest... what's a little shit between lovers?
ItsFunnyNow 0
Oh no you didn't.
Acousticpixie14 6
63... If he didn't actually crap his pants, that's a completely different story, I agree. I am speaking in terms of if he did actually crap his pants and that was how he reacted to it, she needs to get out of that. Duh.
bls5301 2
When someone has a crazy awesome fart it is commonly referred to as ******** yourself even though you dont actually defecate feces into your britches. He obviously was just proud of his fart. I would be to.
Acousticpixie14 6
too*
mandy307 0
That's right it is going to come up some time. Sickness and Health right? And I say forgive him now because when you get pregnant if it doesn't happen in the third trimester or even during birth it will happen while your recovering from it. Besides who is to say the guy is not just F*cking around by giggling. She never said weather he actually did it or not. I personally know men are crude and think these things are funny. ( and don't worry guys I don't mean all of you! just 90%)
RobinGoodfellow 47
a) There's a limit to how much you can type in an FML submission. OP can't, and shouldn't, give every single detail. b) The wording of the submission is often changed when it gets posted. If there are unnecessary details, these are taken out. If there's bad grammar, it's fixed. So maybe he went to change his clothes, maybe he didn't. Either way, #62/15/etc, you're making an awfully big fuss. If she loves him, one time accidentally ******** himself and laughing it off isn't going to call off the relationship. And if you think that's grounds for ending it, then I'm going to assume that you've either never been in a serious relationship or should not be in one.
perdix 31
Maybe "maybe" should be your answer when thinking about going through with the wedding. Do you really want to start using a Diaper Genie way before you have kids?
Lizza330 28
What is a diaper genie?
DocBastard 40
A magical genie that flies through the night sky delivering diapers to both infants and the elderly. Or you could do a 2 second google search. Or I could be less of an asshole and tell you. But...I won't.
ritchgirl1 0
Doc, your comments are always rude or inappropriate. Yet I find myself looking for more.. I can't get enough..!
bigantennaemay 3
Doc Bastard now has a new fan!
Acousticpixie14 6
Seriously...anyone who isn't a fan of DocBastard is either a moron or someone lacking any sense of humor.
jjusn 0
Get off of doc's wood.
maz255 10
totally agree with 70....now if only we could know wat that picture of his is?? hmmm
Acousticpixie14 6
Looks like a pancreas to me. Or possibly a tumorous lung? I'm not quite sure. It's hard to tell without having something to compare it's size to.
schalk 12
Nowhere does the post state he actually did. Admit it guys, sometimes it does smell like it happened.
mason456 0
Case close, Doc is indeed.... a Bastard
ProgMetalMan 8
Yes, let's break the man's heart because of a medical issue.
RobinGoodfellow 47
Having read your responses to this FML, I can't seem to find your sense of humor, Acousticpixie.
sorariku124 15
#81 It's an x-ray of a coke bottle in someone's pelvic region.
sematariux 7
haha yes
TheB0a 5
The giggles is what makes this funny. Who giggles after supposedly ******** their pants, lolZ.