Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
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Top comments
KiwiBlu 0
That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
JayCanDance 0
Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.
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Comments (190)
wolfpackchick10 0
OH MY GOD...where did this happen?? Sorry...I'm from NC too and if it was anywhere near me, I wanna make sure NEVER to go where you got that croissant!! Haha
homedoggieo 0
I was going to spell it correctly, but figured putting "cuddle" in would make it sound cuter > >
BSCaller 0
Must have been one of those species that lives in families...wait...those do not exist. Bullshit.
KaleXD 0
Shit man....... I feel so sorry for you.... This should be the top fml. Seriously you just gave over 100 0 people nightmares. That's pretty bad. I would sue the bakery. If spiders came out of your croissant, that could easily be $50,000. You could claim to have had nightmares every night since then (which I would totaly belive). God this is disgusting.....
chewydog 0
Holey spider-croissant!!! I am reading this outside of the US during a trip, and I can just imagine small baby daddy long legs scuttling around like ants as soon as I take a bite out of some delicious looking meat bun/croissant (in your case). My imagination is going to give me a blast tonight. I'm still torn between laughing and throwing up though...as it's still kind of hilarious to have a whole bunch of freaked out arachnephobic people scream about this, but then again, I'm part of the crowd. Either way...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
homedoggieo 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6cGxO7gM2E Haven't spent much time around spiders, have you?
Aidenne 0
I feel bad you have to defend your horrible experience, but holy shit you are a good sport. I'd literally have explosive fear diarrhea if I had a spider in my mouth. lol
Icalasari 0
Hey, at least you were getting your protein!
unlucky_angel02 0
Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahaahahahahah! OMFG I just totally threw up a little in my mouth. You should sue and stomach pump
swampy11 0
well i read somewhere everyone eats at least eight spiders in their lifetime without noticing...... at least it wasn't cockroaches .
ClumsyAmy 0
Ohno. I just puked a little. That is SO gross. D:
jennee123 0
how did you not notice a family of spiders living in it