Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KiwiBlu 0
That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
JayCanDance 0
Oh my god. Thank you for the nightmares I'm sure to have.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
SunXChyn 0
Your choice of descriptive vocabulary made the story 100 times funnier. I also second #44.
teddy_chan 0
Yummy!! >w< *gags*
Aidenne 0
I almost puked my brains out when I read this. But for such a horrifying experience, It was beautifully worded! FYL how terrible... Plus this is totally believable, It happens, Spiders are f'in resilient bastards.
Adora_fml 0
I'm horribly arachnophobic. I don't blame you for being freaked out by this. Just reading this makes me pale at the thought. I'm not the type to be fearful, but when it comes to spiders, I run away with a shrill shriek. Uncontrollably. I'm glad this didn't happen to me. I'd never live down my reaction.
dangstuhh 0
sue them it solves everything
the_raf 0
that is such bs
stepup0220 0
that's the most disgusting thing i've ever heard. i'll be sure to check the inside of my croissants before i eat them from now on.
Evita53 0
you didn't notice??? :O
roxyxchickx101 0
ewhhhh!
ajthere4u 0
yuck