Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I heard grunting noises from my brother's room, like when he's having a seizure, so I went in to help. And now I need brain bleach. FML
Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MzZombicidal 36
You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)
mcleod 17
Always knock!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
mcleod 17
Always knock!
sayyestothedress 24
I feel bad that you had to experience that! I have too! But after awhile it gets less and less gross (doesn't mean that it's still not gross)
HarshD9619 34
To everyone saying he should've knocked, think about this: If you think your mother is getting beaten up, what's the first thing to do? Barge in the room and protect her or knock first?
LifeAlertTwerk 14
#7, I'm worried about how many times you've walked in on that scene.... And how you are becoming conditioned to it!
laden_swallow09 35
32- You. Knock. If no answer or a gruff "GO AWAY", barge in. If an answer by either person, press your ear against the door to confirm.
sayyestothedress 24
Why am I getting down voted, all I said was that after awhile it gets less and less gross
killerdana 19
Because it sounds like you keep waking in on your parents all the time :)
NellieeNell 18
If I heard noises that sounded like domestic violence the last thing I would think of doing would be to knock. So I completely understand OP's dilemma. #42 I'm sure if you were ever in that position you wouldn't knock either...let's be real.
ExtremeEncounter 32
They couldn't tone it down a bit?
MzZombicidal 36
You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)
peceout 29
I do agree with You. But they really shouldn't have had foreplay or sex when he's home, due to the risk of getting caugth.
slyde32 12
yeah, damn parents, they shouldn't express their love for each other in their own home and their own bedroom
weveallbeenthere 30
just not loud foreplay.
peceout 29
I'm not saying that they shouldn't show their love towards one and other in their own home, but that I think it would be better if they hadn't had sex while their son was home. They do of course have the right to express their love for each other.
kaablam 17
57, and their son is home all the time? honeychild, when you expect things gonna happen??
peceout 29
You're right. I've seen the errors in My thinking. Just try to ignore the previous comments of mine.
Karenezzy 20
Why wasn't their door locked??
SnowKitten 14
Not many people have locks on their bedrooms. Some don't even have locks on the toilet.
sayyestothedress 24
#12 OMG I would DIE if there wasn't any lock on the door for the bathroom!
Standupmast3r 18
Well don't come to my house then or your ******
laden_swallow09 35
Her ****** what, 38?
flutterby789 8
#37 was talking to #12 ... saying theyde be f**ked if they went to his cshe domt have a bathroom door lock. and she said shed die if they didnt have them
ginger196 14
I'm so sorry OP!!!! There is no brain bleach, if there was, I would have emptied out the stocks in stores long ago
baby4mommy 27
How 'bout mental floss?
worldclassrager 41
Never just barge in with a door closed...and locking it is a good idea as well...
VancouverGuy89 9
Why would you ever do that you should have put two and two together
kenjenkei 32
Well hey, you were just being a good son- and a great person. :) Bravo for your bravery! Maybe try an acid bath for your brain though- some sights just cannot be unseen. D:
Miss_Terri 2
if you're gonna play the hero, there WILL be scars =p but seriously get your mom to lock the door from now onwards when she feels the need to "confess her bad deeds".
lammm_fml 18
You could just ask her while you are behind the door.. Was it really necessary to run in? But yes FYL, OP these images might hunt your dreams now
R3TROxLOV3 32
So if you thought your mother was being assaulted, you wouldn't go right in to stop it? You'd just stand by the door and ask? Ooookay.
SauceySarah 30
At least you are a good son. I commend you for your actions even though they resulted in a traumatic sight.