Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the university bike permit that I'd ordered half a year ago finally arrived. Unfortunately, my bike was stolen months ago. FML
Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML
Today, I was at Goodwill and I saw my bike, which was stolen from me a couple of weeks ago. It was a gift that my mom gave me for my birthday. The bike was being sold for 65 dollars. I had to buy it. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML
Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML
Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
It shouldn't be too difficult to find the 6'9" thief. You giants stick out like sore thumbs. Just look for the guy wheezing from breathing the thin air up there and other assorted tall people jokes because you're taller than I and I'm totally NOT bitter.
perdix 31
Tell the cops to be on the lookout for a guy riding a bike with a phone book on each pedal. Shouldn't be too hard to catch.
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Comments (77)
DocBastard 40
It shouldn't be too difficult to find the 6'9" thief. You giants stick out like sore thumbs. Just look for the guy wheezing from breathing the thin air up there and other assorted tall people jokes because you're taller than I and I'm totally NOT bitter.
monnanon 14
i would like to be taller but not quite that tall.
hessel 13
the thief doesnt have to be tall. he could also just ran away with it or put it in his car
TheCanucklehead 22
I'd like to be 6 ft 2, 200 pounds and a kangaroo
phatdaddy62 23
Short people got no reason . . . Oh, um, sorry Doc!
kaiyybee 10
Dude that sucks! Get a bike lock.
jerzjay 17
a bike lock is a liiiitle late now since he has no bike lol
ohro 10
It was custom made, it would be smart to have already had a lock before it getting stolen. Check Craigslist incase someone might have posted it!
ouibijou 15
.
hasucksforyou 3
I hope whoever stole it was tall too
Lisee92 18
Personally I hope the guy was short as **** and can't really enjoy riding it
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
You didn't lock it up?
DWordHead16 19
Obviously not if it got stolen....
DWordHead16 19
Okay, correction; it could have been not locked up good enough if it got stolen. I kinda realized that after my first comment, lol. But that makes me wonder a lot. How bad could it have been locked up if someone stole it? Are some locks just shitty?
NeatNit 33
Bike thieves can cut most bike locks like butter. With the right tools (which are very simple to buy) you can cut through just about anything. I don't know about solid steel chains, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was a way to cut that as well.
DWordHead16 19
#23: yeah, I guess so. Thanks for telling me so I'll be more aware. I've never owned a bike lock of any sort.. I'll keep that in mind when I buy one. My neighbor is quite a bike thief.
LowExpectations 30
Some thieves don't even need a cutter. Liquid nitrogen or helium and hammer would do the job.
RayneSmytson 24
Liquid nitrogen isn't exactly easy to get a hold of...
ApollosMyth 22
Actually 56, it isn't that difficult. All you need is the right container and to be 18. That's what my old Chemistry teacher said atleast.
bjdog98 9
Haha. 69.
Pwn17 25
Is that how many months old you are?
Pwn17 25
It's just a joke. No maliciousness intended.
CobraLazerFace 21
His name is BJdog, I think he may lack a few chromosomes.
Not_Impressed13 9
OP is Six feet. AND 9 inches!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
YDI for stealing those extra 14 inches from me.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
As in a dick, or your redneck rifle?
TheDrifter 24
Nope, beer gut.
little_one 20
Are the soul's you're consuming very fatty? Do you eat soul's and wash it down with beer? So many questions!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Never saw a rifle that was 14 inches.. Shit barrels on the rifles are longer than that.
phatdaddy62 23
Number 27, I know what you mean! You've got those 14 inches up your butt!
DWordHead16 19
You should have locked it up good, OP. if I had a custom bike made I'd make sure to keep it secure when I'm not using it, that's for sure.
Pelios_fml 10
Double lock next time! Maybe even triple!
YOLO_SWAG_2013 3
There wont be a next time were you not reading
Jezzikah 11
I'm sure op will own another bike at some point in his life. So yes, there most likely will be a next time
lovethesidewalk 19
It sucks that your custom bike was stolen but you really should have had a bike lock on it our a chain if some sort. YDI.
TogeBara 12
Who said that OP didn't have one? I've SEEN people in the United States pop those locks in anywhere from 30 seconds to 3 minutes and walk off with the bike. It isn't hard, it just takes bolt cutters and an attitude like you own the place and people wont even notice majority of the time.
TheDrifter 24
A set of hydraulic snips and a so what attitude and you can have any bike you want in 5 seconds or less. That's why couriers take their seat, so nobody wants their bike.
perdix 31
Tell the cops to be on the lookout for a guy riding a bike with a phone book on each pedal. Shouldn't be too hard to catch.