Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
Beakner4564 2
That just made my day
jkmartinjk 16
Earplugs? Also, noseplug.
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Comments (90)
VScpu 3
If I didn't know better i would say my girlfriend posted this FML. We didn't sleep together on the 7th. Haha so I'm good
Syn45 8
Yeah I don't think he was sleeping I think he was just being an ass
wtffml1979 22
I thought maybe my wife wrote this but it said boyfriend haha.
emchocolat_fml 25
A prize specimen you have there, OP.
andiw 6
Omg I read this fml to my husband, his body is still convulsing w laughter. Why are farts so funny to men? Lmao
AgentClassyPants 9
No matter how old.... Still a 12 year old.
JoseIsAdork 31
hahaha! sorry op! my god, this could be my FML haha, I know your pain haha
Sunii454 5
Lmfao?