Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
Beakner4564 2
That just made my day
jkmartinjk 16
Earplugs? Also, noseplug.
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Comments (90)
billyz77 24
Just stand over him with a sharp knife and an evil, maniacal smirk on your face. When he wakes up and sees you there, he will think twice about sleeping so deeply when you're around.
Catkam623 27
God that's creepy wtf Is wrong with you that's not gonna make him reconsider its just going to make him reconsider having a gf
Yuuuuuuuutttt 8
Yeah what a great way to become single in a matter of seconds.
Wizboy 17
Well, you can't say, "It was quiet and the morning air was still fresh.."
Vinnie500 14
Use a butt plug on him and cure both problems at once.
pieman528 10
Physics 101, build up of gas pressure will lead to an explosion, we do NOT want that lol.
perdix 31
#21, no, the fart gases are just absorbed in the bloodstream where they eventually sneak out of the pores of the skin. Buttplug users have a body odor that smells like farts. This is why they are not more successful in the marketplace. Charcoal-lined underpants are the way to go.
pieman528 10
Honestly that was one of the most interesting facts I've heard in awhile lol. So someone who holds in their farts actually ends up smelling like fart?
perdix 31
#48. I don't really know. I tend to make up a lot of shit ;)
pieman528 10
Lol careful there, u might end up smelling like it too :P
birdcagereligion 10
Go to a different room, or the couch! Lets hope you have a comfy couch.
loserman67 36
Classic "Dutch Oven"! This guy is an artist, but instead of oils or clay his medium is methane.
buckdharma 38
He was dreaming. You fell for his pull the finger joke, twice. This amused him.
poccocurantes 7
You're pulling my leg.
123man 11
Jam a finger up his pooper and when he wakes up startled pretend to be asleep. Do this until he realizes it won't happen if he sleeps on his side. If it turns out he likes the finger in the rear, then you've just expanded your sexual horizons as a couple (but you'll still have the snoring problem).
poccocurantes 7
Put the same finger in his mouth. Problem solved.
Reaper1984 13
im sorry op, but if you lift your leg to part its intentional...FYL
titibug823 11
Wake him up from now on and just tell him to roll over
buddy51 23
Your BF is awesome!!