Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
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Top comments
NandaPanda 22
Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.
titandesu 14
wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention
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Comments (223)
Omniprism 15
Well at least you know it's not true and you've dodged a huge bullet by letting this one go.
Sakuraashita 15
Knock-knock. Who's there? Restraining order. Restraining order who? No seriously, OP- Get one!
JenniCHAOTIC 3
And that my friends, is why you don't stick your dick in crazy.
clarinetgirl1995 4
At least you didnt have to deal with the panic attack of it.
elliemae3838 1
For all those saying that you can get pregnant on your period (you can) - He said he broke up with her when she was on her period, not that the last time he had sex with her she was.
nicoletaylor1995 5
That's so desperate and embarrassing on her part..I hope you let her know you knew she was lying based on the evidence you have.
jaellin 18
For everyone insulting peoples reading comprehension...how pregnant you are generally goes from the date of your last period. So for ex. If The day you get pregnant is 2 weeks after the first day of your last period, you would be two weeks pregnant that day. It doesn't say they did have sex a week ago when she had her period, but it didn't say they didn't. So if she had bleeding when she ovulated and thought it was her period and they DID have sex, a week later she is probably around three weeks pg. If the test actually is fake then probably not obviously, but it is entirely possible and it does actually make sense.
spunkylady 24
I say you make her take a pregnancy test with you there.. Catch her crazy ass in a lie
tysonx23 4
I don't see how this is a fml moment. like ok happens to the best of us. ok get over it. Life is over
swagstatic 16
You should tell her what you know and maybe you'll get a laugh out of her expression, and she may even stop pestering you too.