Nervous?

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML