Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML
Today, I realized my sleepwalking habit has reached new heights. How? I woke up in the bathroom. On a plane headed to California. FML
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML
Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
vencku 13
I'm curious what these texts are. Nonsense? A love confession? Asking for mommy?
ant1ion 12
Maybe you should lock it or hide it before sleeping
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Comments (95)
ant1ion 12
Maybe you should lock it or hide it before sleeping
Roevera 14
She would need someone else within the house to hide it, because although she's sleeping she would still be able to recall where she hid it. And same with locking it, as soon as the actions became routine her subconscious self would pick up on it and just go back to doing it again.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
12 - I would construct a labyrith with traps, such as shooting arrows, spikey pits, wild animals, etc. and put the phone at the center. That should prevent the acquisition of the phone. Problem solved :)
andyyroxx 20
And if her subconscious self weaved its way through this labyrinth?
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Then she obviously deserves to use that phone :D
Roevera 14
No no. Havent you ever seen those shows where the sleep walking or incoherent person narrowly dodges every trap. #16 beat me.
Beeftinkle 13
He needs to stop mixing xanax and ambien. Then you wont be sleep walking anymore.
conholio33 28
Maybe its time to lock your phone while you sleep so you dont send random texts
Nevermind212 11
They control you
IworkAt711 14
I'm pretty sure if she could type out words in her sleep, that she will be able to type in a password.
galt 13
Just hide it in your wardrobe or something before you sleep :)
vencku 13
I'm curious what these texts are. Nonsense? A love confession? Asking for mommy?
sens3sfailing 25
I once had the girl I was dating text me about a purple kangaroo and wanting to feed it a banana in her sleep. that shit was funny
Docbee 11
Maybe she was hinting you in a very 'unique' way. ;)
PeteyPablo12308 20
Hinting at what?? What on earth would a purple kangaroo and a banana hint towards?
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
********** and sex toys?
D_Word_Head 28
I feel so weird replying to an old FML, but I sleep-text sometimes. Once I sleep-texted my ex "I wAnt you." Hahaha I was dating him at the time though, so no awkward explanation had to be made. :P
sens3sfailing 25
when you fall asleep you become another person, so there is only one choice; become a superhero. you could probably be more useful than the human sponge.
drkrissy1331 12
Almost as bad as ”texting while drunk.”
BlowinChronic 18
Why was texting while drunk put in parentheses?
mario2012 18
Those are quotation marks. Parentheses are the curvy lines(like this).
Klat 8
If it's a text, shouldn't you have records of what you sent unless you deleted it right after?
sunkissedluster 20
My phone only keeps the last 25 unless I change it.
brackaman 18
You must be an extremely devious person to not only send someone msgs under your own name without consent, but to hide it from yourself as well. You are your own worst enemy.
Klat 8
Evening if that was the case, he'd atleast have an idea of what he texted if he checked it when he woke up.
FlyingPie 17
I can't wait to see the texts on damnyouautocorrect.com
BlowinChronic 18
Nononono. OP's texts to her friend are real, they would never fit in with all the fakes.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Just count the number of times you've texted "Hdincudkn" to your girlfriend and you should have a rough estimate. If you can't find any of those messages, I must say I'm impressed at how well you text in your sleep! Bravo :)
electrorange 13
Are you sexting too??
sens3sfailing 25
I don't think that's really any of our business...
lilhellian 27
Maybe not, but it'll paint an interesting picture for this...
Silent_Thrill 17
I sexted in my sleep once. My boss was not very amused...