Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.
KiddNYC1O 22
She blew you alright.
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Comments (235)
rott3n 6
That stinks.
sarahblayke 10
Maybe she was to relaxed and comfy poor girl i bet she real embrasses
sweetmama88 6
She was probably very nervous .
banta98 5
Oh well better luck next time
doglover100 29
It's not that big of a deal.
Skepticaalx 11
Agreed, everyone farts it really isn't a big deal, if she shat on your face then I'd say it's an fml..
wvcheesehead 13
At least you did not have a cigarette.
tigerlover39 9
What's 69
vbmg152 19
A number!
BellaBelle_fml 23
If you have to ask what 69 is you're probably too young, and as your profile says, "You don't need to know anything."
Joey_Crack88 5
Take your young ass to your room, put on your onsie footsie pajamas, put a pacifier in your mouth and, in the words of Samuel L. Jackson, "Go The F*ck Ro Sleep"
Justin0481 5
Man up, loser. Wait until she queefs after you get done with good doggy style. I hate to know how bad she feels now. Ungrateful ass, just be happy you got a girl thats willing to let you do those things.
daminantion 14
Easy there G.I. Joe, not everyone is a sex god their first try. Don't get too 'butthurt' when I make a seamen joke... Nah but honestly. Queefs aren't bad, it's simply air that was pushed in, whereas a fart is methane and post-digested nitrogen.. Queefs don't smell unless you're using a scented condom.
mikehuntidges 2
Doggy style queefs used to embarass the hell outta me until i realized that just means they're doing it right
LexieWins 0
Doesn't matter, had sex. Kinda.
zuelhater 7
Dude, that's hilarious