Today, I phoned my bank. The person wouldn't speak to me about my account as I "sound female" despite being a year 30-old-male. They had to get a supervisor and listen to recordings of past calls to believe me. This isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a girl on the phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, at work as a bank teller, an angry customer complained that the payments on his two credit cards had been messed up the previous month, with the wrong amount being credited to each account. I asked if he knew who'd helped him. He said, "Well, it wasn't you - she was younger and prettier!" FML
Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML
Today, a girl called me, asking for one of her friends. She wouldn't believe me when I told her she had the wrong number, and I spent a few minutes convincing her she did. After a while she said, "What the fuck?" and hung up. That was the longest conversation I had with a girl in months. FML
Today, I work in a call centre for telecommunications and someone called in to ask about a payment on their account. I meant to ask them if they had checked their online banking statement, but instead I asked them if they had checked their online dating profile. FML
Today, after being unemployed for over four months, I got a call from a company I've wanted to work for for over 2 years. After they were about to set up an interview, they called me by a different name. After correcting them, they hung up on me. Turns out they had the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML
Today, I was trying to be a responsible adult and check my credit score. I accidentally mistyped my password five times, got locked out, and had to call customer service. They asked me so many security questions, I started questioning my own identity (and sanity). FML
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Top comments
stumpygremlin 13
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been called ma’am over the phone, I’d be rich, and I’m a 32 year old dude myself. So you’re not alone.
RichardPencil 32
And 30 years later, do you still have the tiniest penis among all your brothers?
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Comments (22)
marecu 13
I mean, if it’s a serious problem then you could use a voice changer.
lexos 16
You could use it to get free stuff from man in online games.
silentbabydeer 10
I’m sorry you’re born with female voice.
stumpygremlin 13
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been called ma’am over the phone, I’d be rich, and I’m a 32 year old dude myself. So you’re not alone.
Destiny Pullen 4
psh if i had a nickel for everyone whos mistaken me as male by just looking at me id already be rich at the age of 10
Spiritbird 17
Bro does your voice box even lift?
RichardPencil 32
And 30 years later, do you still have the tiniest penis among all your brothers?
real life problems 26
Oh I get it. 😅
Zekfen 17
I went through a drive through the other day and the person talking to me sounded female. High pitched voice, very feminine sounding. So being polite I used yes ma’am, no ma’am, etc. I get my total and pull up, 6ft+, 250#+ black man. Sounded like that life guard dude from the grown up movies. Im pretty that wasn’t mayo on my burger.
BeefyQueefy 14
When I worked on the phones, we would put a special note on file to avoid confusion. Ask.
Chazzster 32
OP - I feel your pain. I had a high pitched voice when I was young and it’s still not really deep. I am a male, heterosexual, 6 feet 1 inch tall, and thank you, my penis and tentacles are fine. When I was a teen and people would call the house sometimes callers would think I was my mom. As I got older my voice deepened a bit and I became more self confident. In my case, I have a suspicion that as my voice “cracked” in adolescence I unconsciously tightened my vocal cords to keep my voice the same instead of cracking. I cannot promise it will work, but it cannot hurt - Get some music of a singer with a deep voice (such as Johnny Cash) that you like. Play it loud and sing along in their style. You won’t become Johnny Cash or develop a great singing voice but if you do this it may lower the register of your voice a bit. Obviously do this when you are by yourself.
ChromoTec 24
Your tentacles are fine? Are you secretly an octopus?
rodfergie 18
Henti actor
SunsetSiren 14
Tentacles. 🐙
Alurius_moon88 4
tentacles? hmmm. what are you doing this weekend? ;P
Lobby_Bee 18
Just think of all the cat fishing you can do. The possibilities are endless!