Today, I babysat my neighbor's twin 4-year-old girls again. When I took them out for lunch, they apparently had been addressing themselves as "my bitches", taught to them by their devil spawn 13-year-old brother. Everyone, including Chuck E. Cheese himself, was not pleased. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting my 5 year-old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML
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Top comments
writerchic85 26
Why do people take ridiculous things little kids say seriously one minute and then when a kid is telling the truth about being bullied or something they get ignored?
trashyant 14
You're not supposed to disappoint the Chuck
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Comments (24)
UserDoesNotExist 12
Well this is our youth everybody... >->
Tripartita 45
Pushing boundaries by taking Pranks too far! I still remember when that popular commonly invented Pranks a few years ago; I /knew/ the youth would love them! This Pranking behavior is totally new!
Tripartita 45
*company
trucker2 33
Next time... Roll them Bitches through the drive-through
farmgirl98 14
Yes! Haha
trashyant 14
You're not supposed to disappoint the Chuck
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Well the Chuck at the Chuck e Cheese where I live is a drug addict, so I don't think I need his approval.
ThuNDeY 23
Chuck E. Cheese was probably like: "damn they right..."
writerchic85 26
Why do people take ridiculous things little kids say seriously one minute and then when a kid is telling the truth about being bullied or something they get ignored?
Jatok 17
Because people are stupid as f***.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Because sadly, schools worry more about pop tart guns and gum chewing.
orangejubejube 20
Are pop tart guns like dart or nerf guns or something? Genuinely curious..
tzemmy 25
#20, I believe there was a story recently about a boy who bit his poptart into the shape of a mountain, but the school freaked out because they thought it resembled a gun. At least that's what I think happened
Flyndaran 10
In America, for kids, anything even vaguely sexual gets automatically believed, and anything even vaguely violence related gets automatically disbelieved.
stingray112 24
I'm sure they can overcome this adversity in the future.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Just tell the parents. Then it will be his FML.
ZombieSazza 34
I'd inform the parents, but make sure you have some form of proof of it happening/then saying that phrase, and ask where they learnt it from. It's harder to ignore and disprove something happened when there's hard evidence. It might not win you friends and the parents may get upset/annoyed, but at least you'll have proof of it happening. I'm sorry this happened to you.
doktork21 3
this was hilarious. i can just see them waddling around calling each other bitches.
burgermike92 17
I'm curious as to where the 13 year old brother learned the phrase "my bitches" from. I know I wasn't talking like that at 13.
shavednipples 22
If he goes to public school (or even private, for that matter), he's heard worse
brezzyanna 17
At 13? Who doesn't know swear words at 13?
burgermike92 17
Fair enough. I guess I'm looking at from my point of view. I didn't start really swearing at least until I was in high school because I was afraid to and in some cases made fun of because when I swore people would say I sounded weird.
Flyndaran 10
With all due respect, that is one strangely sheltered upbringing. Kids swore the moment adults were out of earshot when I was young in the late 70s to early 80s.