Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
Today, I decided i wouldn't take the bus back home from uni, instead I walked to the metro. On my way there, I saw a couple of odd-looking guys, but I thought, "Nah, just because they wear big hoodies and caps doesn't mean they're doing anything", so I ignored them. Two minutes later they mugged me in broad daylight. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Mafia leaders see their daughters during the week too. What's wrong with you?
Tedet 0
They had their daughters with them at the time? If so, then you're an idiot.
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Comments (146)
blastvortex 4
Well, either your vision or lack of reason was problem #1. Burly men or not, the guy's daughters should've been your first clue. Either it's time to visit the optometrist or take a class in cognitive process/reason. Problem #2 was carrying a knife in the first place. If anything, it should've been a spork (preferably titanium).
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Many people use kids as distraction when begging or pickpocketing etc. Some do when mugging too. The OP probably thought it was the case. He still pulled out the knife far too early.
ban4023 0
u should stop sterotypin burly men
cheezburgergirl 0
stop complaining! atleast they didnt mug u!
lordmoe 0
ummm... if they attacked you, and you pulled a knife on them, then you LOSE the lawsuit and have to pay them even if you never touched them with the knife.
danceoo 0
i agree with pretty much everyone else. you're an idiot. for one thing: three burly men against one...pocket knife? also, why would you automatically assume that? paranoid much!
jdannyl 0
Such a fear culture in america, ever thought why you guys have so much more gun and knife crime than any other country?
youEQUALtosser 0
Do your research before you post. There are several countries that are much further ahead of the US in gun crime.
oogyboogy 6
if you really want to protect yourself why not use a gun its very much more usefull
DrunkenValor 0
My dynomite trumps your handgun.
noName123456 0
of course i carry a quater stick were ever i go my phylosphe is light it first ask quetions later
Pun_Intended 0
Wow, your spelling is atrocious.
Ross_H 0
I'm guessing yo live in a rough neighborhood?
moleSG 6
Way to overreact...
ElMundio87 0
If they were going to mug you, at least one of them would probably have a gun. Sure, your knife is gonna do wonders for you when you have a bullet lodged in your spine.