Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
marcantonia 0
Lack of your fingerprints on the knife should show that you're innocent. I mean, it sucks. But at least they won't be lasting charges. :)
sumdoode123 0
i never get why some people put YDI. There is no way that this person deserves it. So yeah. FYL.
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Comments (74)
marcantonia 0
Lack of your fingerprints on the knife should show that you're innocent. I mean, it sucks. But at least they won't be lasting charges. :)
quirinus 0
this is so ******* sweet ^^ ^^ ^^ :) :)
perdix 31
Not so fast. The "thug" could say you plunged the knife into and ran, but then he grabbed the handle to pull it out, or at least to keep it from moving around, thus obscuring your fingerprints. I hope the cops didn't find the "thug's" wallet stuffed in your sock.
supercereal 0
nope #21, his fingerprints would still be on it, behind the thugs, and they would be easily indentifiable too. Still, karmas a bitch, and that guy so totally deserved it. Dont worry, youll be able to get off easily.
perdix 31
Sorry, Bobby, supercereal is wrong. If the "thug" smears his hands up and down the handle, he can easily wipe off your fingerprints. Do they have the rampant anal rape in prisons in Australia like we have over here?
Inked2009 0
You are an idiot
Ox_Baker 0
I thought Austria was the one that didn't speak English.
Ox_Baker 0
Holy shit! This one made the news: http://www.wsbt.com/news/local/64006542.html No wonder he keeps saying "their" knife. He doesn't want to sound like a punk-ass bitch who was running from a woman!
Mauskau 36
Austria is in Europe.. Australia is in Oceana/Australasia. It's down south of places like India and China. Look at a map.
thenotoriousmpgs 0
pretty sure its not called australasia, its called australia
Reyo 2
Even if the mugger claims he whiped the fingerprints off, there's still a little thing called "innocent untill proven guilty". All the guy has to do is give his side of the story and it'd be his word against yours, and since he's the accuser, he has to provide evidence of your guilt other than the obvious "I say he did it". The mugger has to PROVE that he did it.
Polionixon 2
lol i read that i'm pretty sure that is not the same story. sorry.
alijacket 0
#36, I don't think it's possible for you to become any more of a moron than you are at this moment.
alorra 0
AHAHAHAH @ 39. my god you are an idiot. please, for future reference, consult an atlas before you comment so "knowingly"
DoomJeff91 2
AHAHAHAH @ 68. my god you are an idiot. please, for future reference, learn the meaning of satire before you comment so "knowingly"
humorizer 14
lol @71.... That's not satire.
Ox_Baker 0
Actually, you're the ones who have failed to recognize satire. The OP was saying "themself" and "their" to refer to a singular subject. I was making fun of his poor English by first joking about people getting confused between Austria and Australia, and then suggesting he was running away from a woman. 38 = selfpwned, moron 65 = selfpwned, moron 68 = selfpwned, moron 71 = selfpwned, moron
alorra 0
um, @ 71, how was that even trying to be satire? #39 was a smartass and got it wrong. australasia does exist and australia is in it. if he read the comment properly he would have noticed. you're a moron, just like him. and # 78, how the **** was i selfpwned?
KatieGoesRawrr 0
@#35 I dnw what Austria speaks, but the OP's from Australia (like me x) and we do speak english.
Ox_Baker 0
I know. Sometimes you have to explain something two or three times to some of the people on this website. There are too many kids.
ohmanz 0
it aint the same story damn it...
yehr 0
wtf i'd be running away from anyone with a knife prepared to use it on me, geez.
ps592 0
wow ur ****** stupid. it is australia..you consult an atlas.
DarkPrince_fml 0
-Some random witty comment-
DarkPrince_fml 0
-Some random witty comment-
immazombeastxD 0
but they'd still have no evidence against the OP
Parky03 9
How the hell did you change the topic of the op's fml to Australia?
hahathatsux 0
i don't see why you're life is ****** you're innocent
Sun_Kissed18 25
Maybe there is no way to prove it :/
Ramos808 29
*your
Incubuss 0
So? You'll be acquitted when they look at the evidence.
frankienajera 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you probably did stab him, that is why you were running. you are just trying to confuse the truth so you wont be found guity. Weak.
dahlia_springs 0
this.
ohmygoodnex 0
this.
Sappheyes 0
If this story is true, there are so many reason's that the mugger's claim would hold no water, that you have no reason to worry.
quincy2112 9
You see too many cop shows.
Tyrax 16
Please go back and fall on your knife again.
sumdoode123 0
i never get why some people put YDI. There is no way that this person deserves it. So yeah. FYL.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Trolls. Its always the trolls.
nacarlson 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I always say YDI when people use atrocious grammar. "themselves" is not an acceptable pronoun when you're referring to one person.
Poke_my_mon 0
.................................... Shut the **** up
RubixMonkey 0
Wow an enlightening trollish argument. Thank you I have learned something interesting.
21sparrow7 0
nobody CARES
dyld921 2
By actually commenting and saying you don't care, you obviously do, so stfu.
Dootie 0
I don't believe you exist
fuckyalol 0
*** grammer
KobeLebroJordan 17
Well, sometimes I accidentally hit the YDI button, other times I'm trying to get a badge...
General_Cool 24
If OP was concealed carrying, they could have ended it faster and safer. The police would instantly be on your side, as the man had a knife and was chasing you. But whatever.
daidax_238 26
Misclicks?
Gam0r 0
Karma rocks, but this most definately sucks! Fyl
Sparkiee93 3
Lifes a bitch. :) Karma hit him once, next time it will go upside his stupid head.
hate_my_life29 0
FAKE
pleasedonttellme 0
Hey my last name is Hutchinson!! And my Dads name is bob ..? Dad :p
darkmis1 18
1) This is prbly fake 2) Why are you even worried? Your fingerprints aren't on the knife, so they can't prove anything.
GreenHacker 0
He never said he was worried. I don't know why everyone is flipping out on this guy. He's just sharing a story, which is the idea behind this site.
monster_tamer 11
The part of his life that's ****** is that someone chased him with a knife, trying to rob him, the guy fell, and told the police that OP did it. Not only is OP dealing with the shock of almost being mugged and possibly seriously injured, but then there's the questioning and waiting....