Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
Today, I decided i wouldn't take the bus back home from uni, instead I walked to the metro. On my way there, I saw a couple of odd-looking guys, but I thought, "Nah, just because they wear big hoodies and caps doesn't mean they're doing anything", so I ignored them. Two minutes later they mugged me in broad daylight. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Mafia leaders see their daughters during the week too. What's wrong with you?
Tedet 0
They had their daughters with them at the time? If so, then you're an idiot.
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Comments (146)
syetlana 0
YDI for assuming. Haven't you ever heard the line about assuming.....?
SpectacuLOL 0
TDI for carrying a knife you idiot.
liz_enthusiasm 0
Thats what you get for stereotyping. Burlymen can be cute ;) Which is why thy have daughters!
SpectacuLOL 0
TDI, self Fail
chanman 0
I'm just wondering why the three men would approach simultaneously... Regardless of size (unless they were midgets), they've got to know outnumbering somebody like that has got to be a bit intimidating and threatening-appearing. Nevertheless, YDI for making an ass out of u and me.
DeathShad0 1
Should of kept your hand on the knife while it was still in your pocket and asked what they wanted.
akshar 0
i don't care what anyone says, you don't deserve it. 3 strange looking guys approaching you gives you every right to pull out ur knife.
Dcvictorious 0
1) YDI for being a bellend by carrying a knife, 2) That's America for you isn't it and 3) They should of beaten you up for scaring their kids shitless.
Kansasgirl 0
What an ass. Why would you even do that? You need to go to a psychiatrist and stop being paranoid!!
Jincos 0
And you can't see the daughters?