Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Stunlocked
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML
Glad to help out
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Stand your ground
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Top comments
dkf295 2
Should have told him that your head was full of unstable explosives and that by punching you he'd set them off killing you both.
ankoku 2
The correct response was to punch him in the face
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Comments (144)
dkf295 2
Should have told him that your head was full of unstable explosives and that by punching you he'd set them off killing you both.
imacreeper 3
This FML reminds me of those movies where the killer has their victim trapped, and instead of coming up with something to good to say, they say something that will obviously piss off the killer like "Bitch, **** you."
Bakayarou_fml 0
#1 Brilliant
mfmylifesrsly 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
one reason could be "I'm a girl" you should never hit a girl unless she's a complete *****/bitch. or she is a feminist and punches you randomly
NYC_Yoshi 3
Actually, Bill Burr gives very good reasons why women should get punched more. but by other women of course.
KaanTech 0
chuck norris was there hahahhahahah
Btgalownia 0
one of the more considerate muggers I've seen
spazmattic 0
mugger: give me a reason I shouldn't punch you in the face. OP: of that, sir, I have none. mugger: I see... fair enough! (mugger walks away)
rallets 23
you shouldve said have said "cause i got yo money!!"
the_ace1337 0
35 and the equality movement for women takes a step back... off a flight of stairs.
mexicotoucher 7
You should've said "if you do, a gay child will be born into a homophobic family in Africa" or "If you do you don't get any cookies from me"
Jonscarl 0
how about saying I will charge you with assault ?
babygirl1023 5
#62 i like how yo made your comment a play....
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
wow 103 you should come talk some sense Ito my boyfriend. He thinks women were made to stay in the kitchen making men meals. ...I should prob dump him some time soon...
DrJesse 10
the best thing to say would have been "because if you do i'll slit your throat" problem solved.
a_nutritionist 10
the correct response would be to just punch him in the face or kick him in the groin. admittedly i wouldnt because id be both surprised and panicked, resulting in a sort of stuttering confusion before being suckerpunched. but if you had your wits about you, attack first, ask questions later. the guy openly admitted he was going to physically hurt you, you can and should take it as a threat, as would the legal system.
alicecanitbe 0
I believe if someone hits you first with self defense you can hit them back. It's only abuse when you are doing it just to hurt someone instead of defending yourself against a crazy lady who is literally trying to kill you :P just saying :S
JTthePurpleNinja 5
Or say "because if you did, I'd have to arrest you."
hatepineapple 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hmm. So you couldn't tell him why it was wrong to punch you in the face...normally if somebody is morally grounded in a certain aspect of life, they can explain it. See: Why is murdering wrong? Just about everyone here should be able to come up with a few reasons in a few seconds. Maybe the OP doesn't find anything wrong with punching random people in the face. YDI.
herrobear 0
Obviously OP stated reasons because it says that none seemed to be good enough, and if the person doing the punching cared about morals, he wouldn't have punched OP. But I understand it's hard to think way up there on your pedestal.
Rainbow35 6
I can't explain why it's wrong to murder people, but that doesn't mean I'd ever do it. The best reasons I can come up with are that it's illegal, and also that the person you killed would be dead. Oh, and their family would be sad. But I can't come up with any others. Either way, my point is, not being able to properly explain why you shouldn't do something doesn't mean you're more inclined to do it, it could just mean you're bad at coming up with reasons, bad at explaining things, or maybe you were never specifically told why and therefore don't know.
docscientist 10
What the **** are you talking about 2. Op's assailant wasn't looking for a philosophical or moral response, they were looking to punch someone and those "reasoned" answers wouldn't help much. However, usually, if you can make someone like that laugh, they'll change their mind, or make them fearful. Or nothing would've changed their mind.
thatonename 7
pulling out a gun would change their mind.
Slythrr 0
it's their thought not yours hypocritical idiots.
Runninvegan 8
That's just weird... YDI for letting punch you.
NomOnShroomz 14
That'll teach you for being a smartass with Chuck Norris... Did he punch you with his third fist?
Ann23 7
why would you answer none in the first place?
Naggerass 1
Assuming you might actually be a retard, he didn't literally answer "none". Moron.
basketballpro 0
wow what a fail
instnt1nfction 17
*she
docscientist 10
She's joking, you abortions.
A7X_LoVeee 10
No she wasn't 61. She's just a dumbass.
dgr8ing 0
I have never been called an abortion before... I think it was a lame attempt at humor and that in itself was funny so lay off but I don't think I will drop that abortion thing, it just gas so little logic I think my head might explode.
ankoku 2
The correct response was to punch him in the face
TheDrummingResul 0
Damn right.
instnt1nfction 17
oh no she didn't
peete182 0
thankyou I was hoping someone would say this
nivekcizia123 0
oh yeah that guy was me. i was like, "hey how can i confuse the shit of a complete stranger? oh i know."
dreamering 16
I guess you're not enough persuasive.
Wheredidgrungego 12
I guess you no enough learn English proper.
dreamering 16
Sorry, I forgot I was writing my PHD thesis.
fthku 13
Did this stranger attempt to get you soaked using his a car a few days ago?
wisericky 12
YDI for not ducking and fighting back with a ninja kick.
instnt1nfction 17
Ching Chung hao
raider27 7
Why not just say something like 'it hurts' or 'because I know karate'? Anything is better then nothing
tilgare 2
YDI. He even gave you notice and you still took it.