Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
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Top comments
iFruit 0
YDI. I'd be pissed if someone woke me in the middle of the night unless the house was burning down or something.
Candisemo 0
i would want my sleep too, but thats no reason to call this girl fat or ugly. you have no idea what she looks like so dont judge her. being mean on the internet is really not anything to be proud of.
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Comments (67)
werzal 5
Been there done that :) Know how you feel!
iFruit 0
YDI. I'd be pissed if someone woke me in the middle of the night unless the house was burning down or something.
nintenDX 0
i no rite?
youaresofucked 0
So? He was tired. That is NOT an FML.
redpump 0
agreed
Tweety122888 0
you can't just ignore someone like that. it was funny but that hurts.
coldplaylive2003 0
nobody likes waking up in the middle of the night.YDI
PlusShipping 0
fatty
stoney_p 0
Lmao. fatty
lobby0ne 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FML? Go to hell!
invisiblerabbit 0
and when your his and slips in his **** into your mouth when you are sleeping you like that? ydi for being a hypocritical bitch.
cr4ckb0n3f4n 0
sometimes a good sleep is better than a midnight quickie.
catiredan 0
Dock move, worse because you think you are the victim.
Dynoblaze 1
YDI. Silly woman. His sleep is more important than a quickie with an average chick like you. Unless he's fully awake he can't imagine he's banging Carmen Electra. Seriously though, sleep is more important than quickies. I don't blame him.
Tweety122888 0
ew you're such a pervert WTF she's the wife n she wants to have sex. there's nothin wrong with trying to wake ur husband up for sex
Chocolate_Chunk 2
there's everything wrong with it. I bet if the hubby waked the girl, you'd be all like "what an asshole"
Tmania_fml 1
Wtf is wrong with you? you don't even know her, so how can you say that she is ugly. He's probably just tired.