Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had to go to New Hampshire for a few days for her grandma's funeral. Later I found out she spent over $1,000 dollars (on our joint account) to take a vacation with the man she was cheating on me with. FML
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Top comments
sarcasticlover 30
**** Logic
dweeds508 24
Dump her ass OP
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Comments (94)
codytallica 38
I'm atheist so idc about the religion aspect but I'm against cheating but I believe in eye for an eye so go **** her best friend and tell her it wasn't your fault because you were tempted by the devil.
NodakN8V 25
Pretty soon it's going to be Karmas work as her ass will be on the curb
nekminnet 13
"Ex girlfriend " I hope
chaseafterwind82 29
Aha, I suppose Jebus said it was ok then? <sarcasm>
wtffml1979 22
Is that pronounces heybeus or hebus?
ZombieSazza 34
Jeebus is pronounced jee-bus.
limegreenpoopie 31
Ummm what?
ColdRoxas 18
my only question is this her first mission since being with you? and how many "missions" has she been on for your sake dump her and maybe get checked after morals like that we don't know what she got
EarlFug 19
Funny how Jehovah is so flexible, isn't it? I know the feeling.
vampire623 6
just one thought when it comes to her she a ****
blink831forever 13
Dump her and find some one better. You deserve some one better than her.
annibo 11
She needs to start praying for her soul.