Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
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Top comments
nuhuh 1
Definitely. Because wearing condoms during phone sex prevents hearing aids.
tinytimmy2 2
that kid is scared for life
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Comments (271)
DJR_fml 2
U iz stoopid
LolaD18 1
"U iz" dyslexic
sterlingarcher 1
haha wow ydi!!!!!
comepoopwithme 0
#11 no.... just no
volley4eva1698 0
hahahaha... poor baby... hello nightmares!
pertained 12
dyslexics are teeple poo.
raidersallday696 0
hahaha
adrianblackett 0
haha at 34... I mean 43
uglygurl 0
thats for sure!
clarkie_boi_8494 0
no u iz stoopid
meggieh815 0
no 72, you iz a pedophile.
jayalexander 7
the lonely islands new single: I just had phone sex!
meggieh815 0
my comment what moderated. what the heck? I didnt cuss in it. ?
Sirin_fml 47
Cuss all you like, but please don't call people that, it's not very nice. :-)
LolaD18 1
Well FYL... At least it wasn't physical sex....?
strizz18 0
I hope he wore a condom
castano10 0
dick
nuhuh 1
Definitely. Because wearing condoms during phone sex prevents hearing aids.
ekb294 4
lmao
meggieh815 0
I see what you did there. :) hahaha
suchaprettygirl 4
131 you are my hero! haha
eltapatio16 5
you're too little to talk about sex. Now run along before I tell your mum.
futtbuck101 1
It was a three-way
sydneynault99 7
LOL @169 ....
misscalimar 10
ah... gross... how do you forget someone is in a room with you...?
larry12693 1
just remember once u go black u go deaf...
MyReinvention55 7
very true
bootsie419 0
perv
magg13 0
lmao ueah i did that yesterday xD
iBanana 17
Hahahah. Fail on your part OP.
raidersallday696 0
what's "op"
T3P33_fml 0
overweighted person. it's a nice way to call fat people
LaughterofCorn 4
original poster
Waffle817 0
original poster
iStayTrollin 0
old pussy
illmatic2 16
Ovulated Penguin
deathmetalkill 3
Way to go 62 and 63. It would be terible to have a little fun.
jennifer93 0
obese platypus
mfmylifesrsly 30
Optimus Prime
FunnyGuy5051 7
orange potato
meggieh815 0
old people. :)
musicchick1712 0
overrated pinecone
hossjosh 1
obtuse penis
chrisvilla 0
funny ass hell man!
leeshxx 3
old people
deathmetalkill 3
Orphan penis.
max_wilder 9
Octo-Pus
seanders 10
Outdated Pissflaps
randiZ25 0
overused pussy
sterlingarcher 1
optimistic person
DaleksAreEpic 0
Octagonal Persimmon
FailBear920 19
Obease Penis
alex1432 9
Osiris's Poot
baseballin25 0
get a life
Bill3485 3
Ornery Proctologist.
CommentNinja 0
Orgasmic Philanges or Oediple Perversion
CommentNinja 0
Overheard Pornography
kingtz 6
Original Poser
schnouttz 3
odorless pickles
fmart 0
original playboy
cookies61889 15
camaros are awesome
TheChowski 2
c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker
tinytimmy2 2
that kid is scared for life
krushr 3
You probably meant scarred, but this works too.
tinytimmy2 2
yea scarred my bad
alexd10293 0
Yeah, it is your bad. Maybe you should check your spelling before posting a comment next time douchebag.
prince122 0
wow Alex that's some stupid trolling your doing.
chickenfriedCG 0
well you know what they say about listening to Mozart A's a baby but what happens if you listen to phone sex???
tinytimmy2 2
all your grades go down to about a 69%
SecretCecilia 0
ohh boyy:p scary thought...
DarthVader007 0
That's effed up . Poor Kidd.
Ariannalang 0
You totally deserve it...:P
WallyTheWombat 0
I wanna know why she waited till he was half way done.
lifeinhd 3
Prolly didn't take long.
boygeorgebaby 0
YDI. that's disgusting....hopefully he won't repeat something you said as his first word... 0.o
DeadxManxWalking 27
like "****" or "damn"? lol
schmelia 10
"ASSS-hooooooooooooole"
Docbee 11
the baby's first words "I think we need to talk about our feelings"
dark_path 0
68, lol nice reference to the baby from "meet the fokers" :P
SmallTownCutie 0
Being a person who has to share a room with a young child (2), I understand. My mom spazzes out whenever I turn it off (the baby monitor), and you can do things in there while the kid is sleeping that won't effect them. I'm 16 btw, which could be around the same age as the OP, and a similar situation.
HugeRedRash 0
naw phone sex ain't disgusting it's great.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Why do you have a baby monitor in YOUR room? If you weren't in your room then you totally deserved it.
PassTheDutch 0
maybe they share a room?
franniedottp 8
maybe he's secretly pedo bear!!!
T3P33_fml 0
then his girlfriend would be 8 years old. you're not reffering to pedobear anymore, more to incestobear
Predental 5
why the **** are they sharing a room?
PrincessesCrown 17
Because 112 the more space in a house the more it cost so if you buy a smaller home, and share a room it will save money. As for op FYL because your mom heard you having phone sex But YDI for doing it right by the baby monitor.
tgifschoolsout 0
he shares his room with his little brother
stephyloo 0
if you're old enough to be having phone sex why are you sharing a room with a kid young enough to need a baby monitor?
Pawned71 0
lol I had phone sex with my girlfriend since I was 7
jennifer93 0
my mom is 37 and has a 13 year old brother...some parents just don't wanna stop :p
stephyloo 0
I'm 26 and have a 13 year old sister but that doesn't mean we'd have to share a room
CitrusGirl 0
Some people live in small houses.
Aerious 0
59, the baby would probably annoy the shit out of OP. Besides, the baby should be around the parents not the sibling.
CitrusGirl 0
90- not neccassarily. Not every family functions in the same way. Also, people seem to be forgetting that some people have sex at younger ages. OP could be as young as 15. Not saying he is, but he could be.
SammyS2012 21
My brother, sister, and I shared a room for years when we were younger. Then, when we had more space, my sister and i sharef the room until I was 16 and she was 20. My brother then moved out for college and i took his room, finally separating us. Just because your family doesnt do it, doesnt mean no one does it
jennifer93 0
yeah your parents told you the monitor was for the baby...but we all know they just want to spy on you
Death_From_Above 0
that's a bit on the creepy side
holagranola 15
lol gotta love human stupidity;)
benderbot19 0
I prefer animal stupidity.
TheNinjaBuffalo 0
I find plant stupidity hilarious.
leeshxx 3
inanimate object stupidity wins. especially when you run into something see how often it will get called a stupid ******
WallyTheWombat 0
I need to find a compilation video of people stubbing their toe. Fun stuff...
Lopee069 4
Protist stupidity is the best. Because you have to be stupid and go jump in a burning hot spring with a microscope just to see the Potist.
ImTotallyAsian 0
12 your picture is Katie BabeyyFayce