Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had to go to New Hampshire for a few days for her grandma's funeral. Later I found out she spent over $1,000 dollars (on our joint account) to take a vacation with the man she was cheating on me with. FML
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Top comments
sarcasticlover 30
**** Logic
dweeds508 24
Dump her ass OP
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Comments (94)
sarcasticlover 30
**** Logic
cameron6731 13
She's a keeper! Just kidding no she is not
jeff_boles 12
Tell to actually read the Bible, specifically Romans chapter 6 and 7, before she does stuff like that. She has no clue how the world works.
thorpe90 8
Why does 86 have thumbs down, he's right, he's got a thumbs up from me
radiocaf 29
#97 me too!
haliacc 17
Missionary... Position Camp?
dweeds508 24
Dump her ass OP
slingerslasher 24
The top two comments on FML: 1. "sounds like a *shitty* situation" 2. "dump him/her now" as stupid as these comments get, #2 there actually applies. and #1 for that matter
brownapple 22
#41 WHAT
goozeo 11
A rare situation where this is actually an appropriate course of action
LastResort318 14
The user name says isaidfukoff so I assume she did.
BananaN0se 13
Dump her ******* Ass
A07 48
Don't forget the hickey covered boobs
JesusFreak227 15
And this is why you don't date religious chicks.
sethsmith11 21
No, this is why you don't date idiots with flawed logic.
Sammeydw 22
There are good religious women out there , they are just very rare nowadays.
SirMichael 13
@22 Yeah, religious people.
LeashaJoy5595 28
How ironic considering that your username is JesusFreak
Morning_fml 22
This has nothing to do with religion, see, people like you give Christianity a bad name, #4. Cheating isn't justified only within the boundaries of religion.
Merylwen 24
Some people will seize any chance to bash religious people. How dare they have beliefs, right? Anyway, everyone knows atheists never, ever cheat... :) Cheating aside, she's not all that religious either if she has premarital sex with OP. Just sayin'. (I know, you can be religious and have premarital sex, but not "mission trip" religious, IMO)
gracehi 33
Good religious women and men aren't "very rare," 24. You just don't hear about them because they don't make for interesting reading material in forums such as FML.
MandieL 27
Who said she had premarital sex? Hickeys on her boobs could indicate foreplay only. And both atheists and religious people alike might cheat, but she was using the fact that she was doing gods work to justify her infidelity by claiming it nullified any infidelity on her part.
Rainbow_Princess 16
noone is saying that she is only cheating because she is religious or that atheists never cheat, but people are complaining that she is using her religion as an excuse.
tantanpanda 26
guys, #45 was joking when she said that atheists never cheat. It was implied in the sentence structure.
bgreen1111 16
We aren't saying atheists don't cheat, were just saying at least atheists don't try and use religion as an excuse. Ive seen you on here recently, too. You comment stupid things and get down voted a lot. Cant you take a hint? Get off FML.
bgreen1111 16
#94, No shit sherlock?
tiptoppc 21
You don’t want to read about Uriah then. And that shit was ordained by God.
smilevue 23
Guess we know who's going to hell.
JayGatsby 25
Well no because they "cancel each other out" , remember *sarcasm*
hoosiergirl94 31
Oooohhh so she's stupid
psychopolarbear 28
You can cancel out a lot of things with good balancing and compromise. Stupidity is hard to cancel out.
confusedAsFuck 34
It's not that hard, just use a shotgun. However it might be illegal in some states..
nomoreparty 11
She prefers to see father rather than you...
heartofhannah 28
What?
AndrewMoreira14 19
Just dump her and say it's a part of "God's plan"
allforfun 23
Best answer yet!! :')
Mpineda57 11
Thrown all morals out the window
xluciferx666 21
Well god might not think is cheating but the Flying Spaghetti Monster does
Colon_Man 17
All hail his noodley appendages.