Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had to go to New Hampshire for a few days for her grandma's funeral. Later I found out she spent over $1,000 dollars (on our joint account) to take a vacation with the man she was cheating on me with. FML
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Top comments
sarcasticlover 30
**** Logic
dweeds508 24
Dump her ass OP
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Comments (94)
middlenamefrank 8
Wow....a Mormon lesbian who cheats on her g/f? This has got to be a troll.
Solano2580 24
Really #27? You think that this is a troll without evidence, I think YOU are the troll
leogachi 15
Who said anything about being Morman? Besides, all religious groups have people that want all the perks of the religion with none of the responsibility.
MlleMC_fml 19
I don't know where you got the Mormon part, she could be any sort of Christian from what I read. But otherwise you're right. And on top of that, she's having premarital sex (how else would OP know about her breasts?)...
SydLovesLacey 18
You don't want to be with someone who thinks like that any way.
daemonsparta 16
no it was still cheating. she cant use god as an excuse
ham_spam 17
Ur right she can't God isn't real
simmybaby_ 13
Maybe I need to go to church again for clarification because this makes absolutely no sense.
Invictus_Anima 5
How dare you not take her word for it OP, that is a damn good excuse! Kidding. You need to dump her. I know that's what people automatically say in all kinds of situations where it is not necessary, but in this one, it is definitely necessary. If she really thinks cheating is okay because it is God's work, she needs help. I'm not knocking religious people or anything, but she really doesn't need to engage in every activity just because "God" says so. I mean if God told her to go have an HIV infested baby would she do it? Rambling over. Sorry you had to find out that way though OP. I wish you luck!
Hauclir 14
Fornicating is Gods work? What wonderful news!
Silk_Routes 14
Illogical ******** :)
worldclassrager 41
Her mission trip was for cheating on you...
Evil_Jester 17
Your welcome.
vikky538 29
Sex doesn't have a logic...