Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had to go to New Hampshire for a few days for her grandma's funeral. Later I found out she spent over $1,000 dollars (on our joint account) to take a vacation with the man she was cheating on me with. FML
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Top comments
sarcasticlover 30
**** Logic
dweeds508 24
Dump her ass OP
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Comments (94)
Karlsmarx2 9
Damn she must have a breadth feeding fetish
helmiz 17
how brainless can she be?
Severefear 7
Dump the **** and find someone who values relationships.
earthlyscum 19
Not only did she cheat on you, she then lied to you with some witty excuse. You definitely deserve someone better OP. Sorry for the shitty cards you were dealt xo hope things get better!
Ishraque 5
You mean ex-girlfriend right?
Abhinow 7
oh. this is the way how god works!
JKPwnage 27
She doesn't deserve to be in a relationship. For that matter, she shouldn't even be allowed to reproduce
Hop6e 22
Has she even read the bible? Heck! I haven't even read the bible, nor do I go to church and I can tell you that's wrong! Sorry bro.
Krwman 8
Was she morale officer at the health clinic??
fabcade 14
I hope you kicked her to the curb hard.