Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hellokinky2 0
umm, I think you're in charge of that one. fail on ur part
penpal33 7
Did you, for a minute, think that the problem may be on your side instead of his? :-)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
hellokinky2 0
umm, I think you're in charge of that one. fail on ur part
kiltsaresexy 4
Agreed with #1.
aeliz 0
Hahaha seriously. Nottttt his fault at all.
jdub28 0
wow... why fake it? most men don't care, and your BF probably has real sex with someone else when you get off the phone.
andruha1123 5
use two finger? idk.. you should know how to please yourself
kristinnicolexo 0
tragic lmao
Claay_aiir 0
wow op, blaming it on some one eleae just cause you couldn't do it? shame shame. learn how to pleaser yourself properly girl. spoo YDI. (:
Celesta 11
I know some girls who feel embarrased to ********** during phone sex or just don't like to. It's quite common actually.
ScooterScott 0
#19 MIND BLOWN
RokstaRx88 0
get a girlfriend to come over and show you how it's done. :) god I remember having to teach an ex how to get herself off solo
wiggz1990 0
totaly ur fault
tsc32 2
so you couldn't even get yourself off?
lito27 0
agree with 1. how do you expect him to give u an ****** over the phone u dumb bitch?
BluSkyNoise 0
hahahahahahhaaaa! #40 with the win!!! high five!! xD
xLeftoverxCrackx 0
lol he just does the talking u do the rest....
Immature_fml 0
Doesn't that make more sense? Faking an ****** on phone sex seems like... well, just obvious.
Hbkbryan 0
first
boogyface11 0
ya u do know ur suppose to pleasure itself their right?
alexthecutie 0
whenever I have phone sex with my bf I just imagine he's sucking my dick
mvnt 0
mines in another state 2 :(
kristinnicolexo 0
mine 3 :(
rbkhockey33 0
mine 4 :(
kawaiixwolf 0
and me 5... ):
Goaliebeast 0
I don't have 1 :(
jeremy418 0
wow really unless y'all have real reasons like you bf works in the army etc... or is there for a job then ok understandable but if it just anyother fyl you should really find someone near you ..... btw I'm not say this cuz I don't know how it is cuz yes I did the same thing but I was what 15 .... well I wish you a good day/night
titanic12beth 0
mines in a completly different continent :( and no we shall not find someone if you love them <3
Taradactyl_2011 0
mines in Hawaii for the army. I'm in Texas :/ I hate it.
thandidavis 17
And mine 6 :(
margxoxo 0
I wonder if she actually knew that you were faking it...
lickmyjock 0
my guess is he didn't care
NzxtZ06 0
mine 5, 6, and 7 :(
penpal33 7
Did you, for a minute, think that the problem may be on your side instead of his? :-)
locs376 2
Do you really think he cares? Im sure he took care of himself just fine, its you own fault for not knowing your body FYL
bluebell707 13
that's not possible...
Dommy 0
Phone sex is awkward D:
whirlybird 0
Sexting isn't awkward! Love it!
megankay95 0
wow that's a fail on your part, OP
brownlace 0
get a toy. improvise girl, improvise
FuckMyLife195 0
it's not her fault. maybe she just wasn't feeling it? I've had to pretend I'm enjoying it over the phone, when really I'm on the computer or watching TV. But OP should get a vibrator if she's gonna date someone on another state.
nman7 0
Or use the phone
ynnhoj 2
learn how to give yourself an ****** or get another boyfriend