Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
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Top comments
hellokinky2 0
umm, I think you're in charge of that one. fail on ur part
penpal33 7
Did you, for a minute, think that the problem may be on your side instead of his? :-)
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Comments (95)
tygerarmy 35
The fail is on your part. Cause guys can fake it too. He voice can last as long as you need to touch yourself. So instead of cutting your performance short, extend his.
Jay_JWLH 0
My advice to you: never fake it over the phone. You're only making him believe that he is doing a good enough job. What you should be doing is to let him keep trying until he does something that works!
Basiil 0
LOL.
ItsASecretShh 0
How do people meet people states away???? My boyfriends in another state but he's in the army. Maybe you should read some masturbation books :) lol
Rlh1994 0
If you can't get off when you are doing it, it might not be him.
lizzie5464 0
mine 9.. : ( but I ****** during phone sex.. just get really into it : )
grandroyal 2
Wonder if the op has had an ****** before. I've known friends who simply can't climax no matter what they do. If the op HAS had an ****** before with other guys or by herself, then the guy needs to learn how to please. If the op has NOT had an ****** before though then there might be a chance that she simply can't. So really details are missing here, but oh well, still sucks for her. Love watching my girl cum, it's one of the biggest turn ons ever. Sorry op, but fyl if you can't achieve an ****** and ydi if you can and are with someone who can't give you one. =(
angels_siren 0
I did this with my boyfriend. i was in california he was in florida. so we'd do this every night. he'd come out quick and I wasnt really into touching myself, it was ...awkward
looking_4_someth 0
ok....?
himeeho 2
digital relationships are shit. if he moved while you guys were together I can understand that but if you don't or even barely know the guy then that's a bad idea.