lerouxmaster
Metal as ****
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
blah blah daddy
United States
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
anon
United States
Straight to jail
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Anonymous
Thailand
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
potatoebee
Clover, United States
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
bubbles
United Kingdom
Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML
mew
Canada
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
stressedmom36
Tampa, United States
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
boymom
Sussy Baka
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Anonymous
Dewitt, United States
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Top comments
in_side_out 0
**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out
Good_old_Grim 8
Where is the "congratulations" button?
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Comments (321)
gothicvamp98 0
that's a good thing cuz your kid gonna be an epic rocker :D
slayer101794 5
hell yeah little dudes gonna be a rocker
TrollFeeder 10
might as well buy him slipknot tickets, no way to stop him now.
katiezomg 3
SLIPKNOT!?!??? they are one of the biggest disgraces to music alive -____-
t765234 10
How is slipknot a disgrace to music, they are awesome.
katiezomg 3
yeah, if you enjoy ear rape. they're shit.
rain893 0
78 you have no idea what you're talking about. You've probably only heard psychosocial or a few of the heavier songs which you just don't have the stomach for. rry listening to snuff or vermillion or try to understand what the lyrics are saying because slipknot lyrics are truly amazing and inspirational. It might help you change your opinion.
IWABO2_ 0
slipknot sucks
tikimuppet 11
I just don't see how that's an fml, it's so awesome :D
thelittlebeast01 0
yeah man rock on
lerouxmaster 7
No, because I need to find a new place for my son. They won't accept him anymore.
BLAMBLAW 0
have you tried "Thrash 'til your diaper falls off extreme daycare center" on main street?
perdix 31
With the lights out It's less dangerous Here we are know Entertain us. Buy your kid a guitar and dress him in flannel -- you've got a natural-born rocker on your hands.
rattusrattus 19
Pretty sure it's "here we are now", mate.
perdix 31
You are correct, sir/ma'am. I stand corrected.
amirawrx 8
NIRVANA!<3
Spongii101 12
Perdix... wrong? :O WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?! D:
DocBastard 40
Your name wouldn't happen to be James ******* Hetfield, would it? Yes, that's his real middle name. Look it up.
sourgirl101 29
I love learning little fun facts such as these about music.(: Ex: I just found out the only member from "ZZ Top" without a beard, last name is "Beard".
stronghand0331 17
Oh the irony! ZZ Top is an amazing classic band. Where did all the acid tripping bands go?
romano07 0
they were replaced by coke sniffing bands, then pot headed bands, and now emotionally sensitive bands! D=
wwerulez14 6
That's an awesome middle name. Say Doc, what's your's?
DocBastard 40
Doctor Fantastic Bastard is my given name. True story.
wwerulez14 6
Oh. I was hoping it would be Doctor Fat Bastard. That way every comment you made from that point on could be put in a Scottish accent and end with the phrase, "Get in mah belleh!!!". But "Fantastic" is ok too...
VonBlitzkrieg 27
It's actually Alan, but I get your point. Seeing how Castor, Cali, and Marcella are all over 4 years old, this is probably not him.
ConfusedArabela 0
When I read this I wanted to 'like' it!
txgirl2013 14
me too! it was a WIN!
DropTheDaggerxx 31
You're not bursting with pride, why...?
Lorns 7
isn't that more of an epic MLIA than an FML??
stronghand0331 17
You better teach him how to have safe sex now. You don't want your little rock star to get an STD. If he can mosh, he can get freaky naughty.
dangerous_D 0
Oh hai.
bvehrs 0
ummm pretty dumb