Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
jellybeans4833 7
you can't tell the difference between your own child? Sad.
allitaylor 4
bet her parents loved you for that..
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Comments (240)
cocobulla1 4
1
allitaylor 4
bet her parents loved you for that..
ilovecookies83 0
Way to scar the child!
dummbrunette 0
The little kids parents did love OP after that. The little kid was simply stuck on the monkey bars, screaming and begging for help. OP was just in time and came to the rescue! :-)
rainbo955 0
How the hell can't you tell the difference between your kid and someone else's kid?
diceplaya 12
Today, I was having a great time on the monkey bars until a crazy woman came and pried me from it. FML
mynameis1339 0
RAPIST!!
dcam13 19
ahaha wow. i can't help but feel sorry for your child for having you as a parent. the least you could do still it him/her apart from other children before grabbing them...
xSwaGKinGx 0
I agree with 38, op must be dumb as ****, to not know how her own child looks, dumbass
talensledge1 0
Nice moustachio,I once had one until that ******* bowser burnt it off! Wario still hasn't stopped making fun of me...mama mia!
alexg823 0
I bet her real child was sitiing in the corner where no one can see her, face-palming.
z_hamel 0
lmao
zukinihudini 0
ydi for assulting a child
imthatguythatdid 0
shit OP put a bell on ur kid to not be confused
Iamnotmyself 17
In all seriousness, screw you. In all jokes and laughs: Haha rofl you're so dumb! Are you blonde/Muslim extremist?
Alex94xela 0
LOL op is a stupid ****. I'ma lol if I see a fml like " today after raising my child for 18 years I realized I took the wrong kid from the park, I thought she was just mad when she repeatedly told me I wasn't her mom FML"
flavboarder 9
I agree, like wtf
JennaMason 6
you're all judgmental *****. she never said that she grabbed her from the front. for all you know she grabbed her from the back and thought it was her daughter based on hair colour or something.
rosiekissesxx 2
I think #150 needs to relax a bit ...
flavboarder 9
did the op not dress her kid because, I'm sure the kids were wearing different clothes and the kids probably have different voicesj
tatababe 1
I bet your child was too embarrassed to say anything
herroeverybody 0
they all look the same these days.
Ecp42 3
I think the worse part is that the other parent didn't notice that thier kid was being molested on the playground.
EmyB_fml 8
this will not end well
juicedboi 7
Even without a clear view of the face how the hell do you not notice that the kid you are grabbing has different clothes than the kid you had 5min ago.
raelynn00 4
uh 150 do u realize ur calling ppl something that u urself just proved u do? I think u may fit the dumb blonde persona
Iamnotmyself 17
-150 Do you know what emotional damage that child could have just gone through!? Seriously these are the things that make people have phobias about cars following them and afraid to take a step outside. Even if it was an accident I hope the parent saw and sued that dumb idiot.
percy_22 5
No matter what why she grabbed the child, she should have made sure it was her's first. And been able to remember what her kid was wearing. You should know things like that when you take your children to public places.
alwayslool123321 0
:o
jellybeans4833 7
you can't tell the difference between your own child? Sad.
Symmetry88 0
maybe she was running away...if my parents assulted someone I didn't know who was my age, then I would go running for the hills
kyliebear 15
OMG, so true #4, how can you mistake your child for someone else's? I wonder what the parent thought of that.
kyliebear 15
What I mean, is the other kid's parent, not op.
joker1995 2
how the **** did you not notice it wasnt your kid? do you just go randomly grabbing untill you find the right one?
ElGranOrgo 0
OP should put a leash on it's child that way they won't confuse her own for someone else's
JuggaletteKlown 0
wow. OP's such an amazing parent! what a lucky kid she has. e.o
Jazze_fml 10
for some reason i just have this image of OP realising this because her actual child sudenly pops up beside him/her asking what the hell is going on.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Tell the difference is a comparison, you didn't compare anything.
princessjes23 6
how the crap does that happen?!?
all4pooh 4
124-You got a lil somethin..there...on your face
Complaining 13
You can't even recognize your own child? Hair? Clothes? You weren't being very watchful.
andreas_secret 0
bad parent or petifile??
jondivey 9
so whats you secret?
IphonFML 6
ya seriously...how do u not tell ur child from other kids :S
trollingislife 0
Actually, it's spelled 'pedophile'. Lmfao.
TBMFan 0
Idiot >.
tashhshere 0
you should know ur own kid
jessamy_brit 5
*pedophile***
Fmlgirl08 0
learn how to spell. its pedophile not petifile.
marmots 0
That's good parenting skills.
rawrrawrrachael 0
mother of the year
howslife123 0
woah kids carry rape whistles you have to watch out
OrgasmicDinosaur 7
well, doesnt everyone ?
scampman 5
not the ugly people
puppylovegurl 0
how would you know
RinnieRiot 9
I can understand that sometimes you can get confused on how they look, but if it was crying, couldn't you have noticed thats not how your kid cries/sounds?
singhjr96 0
I loved how you said it. Not he, she, or they.
marinus_fml 20
Oh, but she did say "they". By the way OPs child is a girl.
10kings10 0
hi
flockz 20
child molester. good excuse though op.
Dr_Jalepenos 0
I bet that kid was all like "who the **** is this lady?" and probably pissed his/her pants.
liyah01 0
what does op mean??
regsworld11 2
You can't tell the difference between your own child and a complete strangers child? I bet you looked like an idiot.