Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, after my ex broke up with me, I threw out all the clothes he’d bought me before, which was basically my entire wardrobe. Anyway, this creepy guy who lives a few blocks away seems to be wearing my old clothes and waves my bras and panties at me. It’s gross and creepy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thelittlemissy 29
Punch him in the face, for your memorys sake
ethancano 11
Sorry, OP. That's incredibly creepy. At least he got caught
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
ethancano 11
Sorry, OP. That's incredibly creepy. At least he got caught
Stazza11 27
I think you need to look at getting a restraining order put in him, otherwise it is guaranteed to happen again.
Kindroth 12
In him?!
morella_xx 29
I think you're overestimating the effectiveness of a restraining order. It doesn't conjure up a magical force field around a person's house that can't be crossed. Crazy people find ways to do crazy things.
dankeykong 12
People may be overestimating a restraining order in that way but if he disobeys it once you can give him a little example of how easy it will be to blow his life apart if he does it again. That's when he'll get serious about it.
incoherentrmblr 22
Yes #43. They drill a lock into him, attach a 50-100ft tether, and watch what happens...
MrsDruidess 23
OP needs to do something, press charges or file for an order of protection, anything to get it on the books that this guy is a creep! It may help to keep him away from her but it will also help the next girl!!
thelittlemissy 29
Punch him in the face, for your memorys sake
PIGaming 21
Yes, because violence solves everything. Not to mention OP would be charged with assault.
IloveToLaugh143 21
But #25 is right, violence isn't the answer.
Goblin182 27
Sometimes it is.
JAKASS200 5
Actions have consequences
Extremist 7
violence is the answer when the question is "how do I get him to understand its over and breaking into my house isn't acceptable?"
Adm_Twigs 19
violence is the answer if the question is theft, or possible danger! haha. maybe its my American hillbilly nature but I'd use more than a fist
ChristianH39 30
47 or you could just press charges and he'll get the idea
wannabeactress71 8
33, no violence is the QUESTION. Yes is the answer.
domolovesyoshi 33
Yes that would go over really well in front of the off duty cop.
spiritfang11237 16
It may not be the wisest of moves, but OP would certainly feel better after it.
ohcheriecherie 20
Don't punch him in front of the cops.
thelittlemissy 29
Sometimes you just can't say it with only words...
MrsDruidess 23
maybe sometimes violence isn't the answer, but in this case it would help. Guys victimize women they think they can control, a punch to the face or any other show of standing up for yourself, of being strong might be enough to keep him from coming back to do worse!
tylercoffman420 19
#25 you look like a pedophile
Warden1986 16
Is you're name Mary by any chance?
Nyarlothatep 12
Are you by chance said psycho ex-boyfriend?
Warden1986 16
No, ever see the movie there's something about Mary? Expect the ex had a shoe fetish.
cheshireau 26
Don't worry, I got the reference.
CrikOgresmasher 19
didn't get it until he said it. derp.
sapphiregirly 11
Why would he need your bra's and panties? A nice black eye and a restraining order should be sufficient for him to remember you by!
poisongirl708 11
Nah restraining order is nothing but a piece of paper. I would carry a gun from now on
fallingbackward 2
Is burglarized a word? Over here we just say 'burgled'. Sorry about the creepy ex, hopefully you can get a restraining order.
tj4234 36
It's a north american term. So it's dialectal.
Bano360 25
What does it matter?
extrasnipes 22
It doesn't matter people are just curious. For example I love to hear what people from UK say differently from Canada.
alfred07 18
Wait, people actually say that? I always thought it was a joke term.
RedPillSucks 33
In America, you can turn any noun into a verb into an adjective and back into a verb Burglar, Burglarize, Burglarizable, Burglarization, ...
TheAbstract 15
Burglarizationableism?
skipper2009 18
Ah America!
alfred07 18
I did not know that. Thank you for the information :).
mad_ornahh 8
Yes burglarized is a word where have you been in the world. never tell someone burgled cause that's not even a word. They would look at you like you're stupid. Word of advice for you.
thewife5 19
No... Most people would embrace another's culture and figure it out .. Just like they do for us.
mikbrooke 25
#106 burgled is actually a word. its the past tense of burgle. where have you been in the world? word of advice for you - try googling it or something before trying to tell people it isnt a word.
Shade1982 21
@106: Are you sure? bur•gle (ˈbɜr gəl) v.t., v.i. -gled, -gling. Informal. to burglarize.
steve31789 8
What a creep, check the toilet paper OP, I heard creeps like that like to take toilet paper before they leave too :p
RedPillSucks 33
How would that be memorable? If it was "used" toilet paper, one would hope she flushed it. This is just all-around creepy.
steve31789 8
Your looking way to much into it bro
speakersboom 19
I've never heard of someone stealing toilet paper as a memorable item. If it were me doin' the creep, I'd steal every sock that had a matching pair. It would leave them with matchless socks, and, like a broken heart, would give me a half and them the other half; leaving them incomplete without me :) Not that I've ever done something like that... ( .-.)
kittcatt 8
Screw the restraining order it is just a piece of paper. It is time to either change your locks and get a dog, or move. In fact moving and getting a good dog is an excellent idea. Taking a few self defense lessons and having a male friend or family member record your answering machine message wouldn't be a bad idea either.
amayasoma 19
Make sure you train that dog in a made up language or it could listen to anyone if trained too well.
travelfreak 20
I don't think moving is a good idea. I mean she shouldn't have to change her whole life around just because creepy ex is doing stuff he shouldn't. But the restraining order and self defense sounds good.
kittcatt 8
She doesn't need to change cities just houses or apartments. Would you rather she end up raped, beaten, mutilated or murdered if he decides to ignore the restraining order and break in again? There was just a case in Massachusetts where the mayor of Sommerville's brother beat and attempted to rape a woman who had 12 restraining orders out against him. A piece of paper is worthless.
RedPillSucks 33
Yep. Restraining order only work on people who tend to obey the law. Their real purpose is to use as evidence after the fact.
CynicallyAlive 13
Could be worse, your ex could have been the cop who decided to take your underwear for "evidence"
iateapenguin 27
Whack a restraining order on that psycho
RomeyRich 22
oh my