iliketoastalot
United States
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Ipickthegoodones
United States
Born to run
Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML
Anonymous
Irving, United States
Justified?
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Inga44
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
The nerve of some people
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Danielle
United States
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
XYZee
Rockmart, United States
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
daniella101
Lacombe, United States
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Anonymous
Drunk dick
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Matthew
United States
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
mackenzie_cain
United States
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Top comments
Megs431 6
Someones not getting laid tonight
shitusernames 0
Good use of your English
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Comments (252)
srhsrhsrh 0
how he is your boyfriend exactly?
shitusernames 0
Good use of your English
Bryceps 4
Haha, sexist jokes are funny! XD
daysgoby902 6
you pick winners
zacharytk72 5
Because she said yes
whisperingeye13 0
1- how you did pass 1st grade?
Pixxio_O 11
A creepy pedophile asked her to be her bf on facebook, she said yes, gave him her address and the next day he waited at her house to rape her, she never came home, so he decided to rob her house...
MrSassypants 34
32 all you have to do is draw pretty pictures. 1st grade was easy as ****.
Jvr91 8
Thug life
a_lenzmeier 11
Oh Mrsassypants, if I weren't already married I'd propose to you. Your comments are probably the best.
MrSassypants 34
You can still propose to me, but I'll properly break into your house and get arrested. :D EDIT: I tried to make an FML refrence on the same FML. -_-
daisyloo 7
Ex boyfriend?
a_lenzmeier 11
I'll forgive the poor reference. =) I'll be waiting for you. I'll propose after you b&e. It's more romantic that way.
gunmania0 12
Because i'm too clever for my own good, my brain automatically switched round the two words so 1's comment made sense. Obviously I have learned the official language 'Retarded'.
MrSassypants 34
71 yeah I read 1's comment the the same way. Some people do notice stuff easily, while other people who read the the same thing don't notice it. The the same thing is happening right now too. Some people notice that I keep putting the the same word twice, while others don't notice the the difference. ^You've probably seen something like that somewhere else but I thought I'll still do it anyway. :D
Enslaved 38
70 I'm sure you're joking but you really aren't coming across as a great wife. Might want to work on the flirting thing with your husband instead. No disrespect!
whisper_White 6
Haha when I read b&e it reminded me of Dane Cooks joke about b&e's lol. He's the bomb!
gunmania0 12
75 - That was fricking awesome.
a_lenzmeier 11
Yeah I was joking. And I wasn't flirting. Trust me, it'd be a lot more obvious. I'm just a huge admirer of his work. He is a literal genius.
Damn_Hippster 11
This was your boyfriend's thought process: 1) get girlfriend 2) rob her 3)??? 4) make profit _ chan FTW!
gunmania0 12
85 - No one cares.
slitherbomb 0
Maybe he was stealing stuff to give to you as a gift.
Drigr 9
I was beaten by AND mrs assy pants. it must be a lot like that thing where as long as the first and last letter of a word are in the correct spot the rest cans be jumbled up and you'll read it just fine. now this leads me wondering. am I of superior intelligence because I automatically read a failed sentence correctly and my mind ignores repeated words or am I just an idiot and understand that level of stupidity?
a_lenzmeier 11
87- that's the beauty of the Internet. I can say what I'd like, when I'd like to, and there is not a whole lot anyone can do about it. Also, I'm pretty sure if I tried hard enough, I could find someone to care. So your point is kind of well, for lack of better term, pointless.
Drigr 9
also is it really robbing when you're in a relationship or just borrowing?
daysgoby902 6
what is b&e
daysgoby902 6
I care.
a_lenzmeier 11
Breaking and entering dearie. And thanks for confirming my point.
daysgoby902 6
np it's because I care
cufaoil 11
#75, ok, MrSassyPants, that comment rocked... my brain completely skipped the repeated word until you mentioned it, and then I read the comment more thoroughly.... Skimming = "Auto-correct" for the mind...
Enslaved 38
87 No need to be rude. She was replying to me. 85 I knew you were joking, that's why I said no disrespect. It's true you can be anyone on the Internet but just think how you would feel if you read your husband saying "IF" I wasn't married blah blah blah. It was probably in good fun but respect your marriage enough to not cross those boundaries, you're only insulting yourself by making it seem your husband's not worthy. Oh and I do care too. And I'm also a HUGE MrSassypants fan!
rcm826 3
87- you obviously cared enough to post a comment that no one cares...hmm
HailSatan66 5
That's enough with the MrSassyPants and a_lenzmeier love affair via the FML commenting forum. You both make me want to vomit, as I sit in my outhouse playing wit myself. And SassyPants your comments suck. My BFF gayboii puts you to shame any day, n00b. lololroflhahahaha.....
jessesgirl14 16
You're an idiot because you can't even use proper English! My 4 year old has better English than you!!
HailSatan66 5
Jesse, you talking to mi tough guy; What does my englash have too due with anything... Are you one of MrSassys peoples!!
A7X_LoVeee 10
Ooh Sassy you just mind ****** me.
YacL 15
Way to go MrSassyPants, you raped my brain then I had to look through the paragraph again. Sure enough, you were repeating "the".
shelbygordon44 7
Oh yea, he's a keeper. He knows how to keep a good cash flow. :)
CondomSense 4
Comment number 1 is obviously a dad gum Yankee based off the sole fact that all Yankees are ravenous swine.
FMLuvLife 3
he wasn't robbing your house sillyhead! he was just there to leave you a beautiful bouquet of flowers that he bought you..by breaking your kitchen window with a rock. :]
pomel 1
O really?
ktateprado 0
150- I got the reference.
JenDanielle917 13
what does OP mean really. I'm new to all this abbreviating on FML it's different then all the other teens make up.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Save us from 141 Sirin
LiveLaughFML 10
I like how OP's user name is completely irrelevant to this FML (:
gmc_blossom 21
92- I care. 0-0 MrSassyPants' comments are quite amusing. :3 He totally screwed my mind with that one comment though. -_-
YacL 15
201- I like how your comment is completely irrelevant to 1's comment, or to anyone else's comment for that matter.
fips_the_monkey 0
Retard^^
JenDanielle917 13
What does OP mean???
blackbelt25 12
OP means Other person And I love how all these comments have absolutely nothing to do with the FML ;)
lipsxofxdeceit 0
#232 OP = Original Poster
DrMANperson 0
hahahaha
SirJamin 4
Damn I didn't notice, is that good or bad? 8|
borkchop1992 15
ouch
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
He's a keeper :D
theten_fml 9
Who is he going to call to bail him out? A) his girlfriend B) A polar bear Lock in your votes now
MrSassypants 34
44 I hope it's the coke polar bear because if it can't break him out, atleast he can get some coke and relax. StupidGuyWhoLeavesStupidComments: But how can he drinck he coke whil geting raped bye evryone? Don't look at the negatives people.
tellithowitis 13
at least he got justice?
Ardee_fml 0
I vote B!!
coffeygirl12 14
44: i pick C, a sparkly unicorn...cuz they're helpfull when you're in jail. Trust me, I would know.
ADTRarmyFTW 4
He just wanted his stuff back since OP won't give him his kidney. Come on now.
Gothmonkey7 3
Haha! *clap clap* to 147 :3
SpaceMan55 1
Maybe it's just a really bad seduction technique?
daysgoby902 6
why the hell would you date someone that would rob your house was he a drug addict if so why would you date a drug addict. he probably just used you because you have rich parents. and you dated him because it's all you thought you could get..
ktateprado 0
^ WOAH jumping to conclusions there!
kevsnev 7
44- I say (A) Nah jk, but FYL OP
daysgoby902 6
ktateproda-I like you.
ktateprado 0
I love you.
Megs431 6
Someones not getting laid tonight
StopDropNRoll 11
Well as long as he holds onto that soap pretty tight I would agree.
mollyslips 13
yeah, he is kinda in jail;-)
bananaburger 0
No shit..
bananaburger 0
No shit..
Lucidium 0
No shit...
PrickHead 0
No ****** shit.
commietaco 0
holy ******* shit? like Jesus having buttsex?
comepoopwithme 0
No shitty shit...
ariannaimelda 7
Did you say BUTTSECKS? :D
Badtz_maru_fml 0
MIDGET butt secks.
Oxonian3 8
shit sticks!
ktateprado 0
Buttsecks FTW.
GrammerNazi1000 8
Trying to find that sandwich you owe him?
AmazinglyAwesome_fml_fml 0
That sucks
genesisnirvana 11
The awkward moment when OP saw his/her stolen items in their boyfriends house.
AssassinPanda69 6
LOL U GOT THE 69TH COMMENT!!! AND HELL YEA THT SUX.
genesisnirvana 11
Yeah I gotta admit I love that number 69
maz255 10
77 I LOVE YOUR PROFILE! I TOO AM PERVERTED! EZIO FTW!!!! that is all...
changuit0 0
#77 u are AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hobbsicle805 0
122- you are not!!!!
LaughterofCorn 4
Ah, the old "I'll date you, and steal most of your stuff while you're away" act.
ktateprado 0
Piss in his beer.
TroyDropShotz 0
wat he take?lol
andrewzzz 0
if u weren't a snitch he'd be free.
Rickilynn1 10
Who said OP snitched ?
Rickilynn1 10
Who said OP snitched ?
omg_a_BALLOON 0
Who said OP snitched ?
njgohard 16
He's gonna beat you senseless with stupidity. Don't listen.
kbt13 0
guys he/she was making a joke. calm your nuts/****
kasandra12345 0
LMFAO That Comment Made My Dayyy
physicist48 0
If he wasn't a moron he would too.
JuniorBSTN 3
#7 ahahaha so true ! Lmao
andrewzzz 0
love ya trolls
ktateprado 0
How is KaySL a favorite among many people when all he does is talk trash?
valalvax 13
23: your expression is freaking me out
applesuckers 0
kaysl, it's a joke. geez... chill. People like you ruin fml with your pointless nagging. No one cares and you look stupid. Shut up already.
ktateprado 0
I know a lot of people that love you...
daysgoby902 6
ktateprada is no idiot.
hobbsicle805 0
Sounds like a keeper
littlestmOnster_fml 1
Ahhhh red necks :) gotta love em or else they'll high Jack your trailer oh I mean "home"
countryrose92 23
Yup. Sounds like the perfect guy. "Hey babe, wanna go to dinner? I pawned that tv I stole from your house for like 20 bucks. I think we could afford to go big! Maybe some Burger King tonight instead of McDonald's." total keeper
odi_et_amo 4
YDI for pressing charges & then complaining about it.
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
We don't know that she is the one who pressed charges. It could have been a family member
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
we don't know that she was the one who pressed charges. It could have been a family member
jarlaxle1138 3
34 I love your profile pic :P
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
lol. thank you
JustinThunder 8
Easy target... So he thought.