Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blowjob. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
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Top comments
blcksocks 19
Don't trust men who value sleep more than a BJ. I would give up my sleep for that any day
jigglypuff34 16
He never saw it cumming!
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Comments (146)
loserman67 36
Well either; A: You really suck (no pun intended) at giving blow jobs OR B: He is really confused about his sexual orientation. Since you say he used the words "beauty sleep" I saying it's a safe bet the answer is B. Tell Cinderfella to either butch up or turn in his man card. If he ever had one...
truegamer100 1
What an asshole
RealChinese 7
That's retarded. She was trying to do something nice (fulfill his fantasy) and it backfired so possibly an apology is in order. But to consider that a sexual assault when they are boyfriend and girlfriend, and assuming they had sex before. It's not like one of them held the other one down and other one yelled for help because it was abuse. Should he ask her every time he wants to touch her breast or something? Or hold her hands? Or give her a kiss?
unknown_user5566 27
Why did you find it necessary to post this rant not once, but twice? Most couples who discuss fantasies with one another WANT them to happen. If the boyfriend never wanted to try the fantasy, I doubt he would've brought it up. And enough with the "sexual assault" argument- though TECHNICALLY it could be considered that, I highly doubt the boyfriend felt violated by the act (if you can even call it an act, since OP got shut down). He was randomly woken up, and was annoyed about it. That's really all there is to it.
darryaz 9
Maybe he wasn't fully awake. I've been similarly grouchy when woken up in the middle of the night and don't remember anything about it the next morning.
Rachaelc23 8
Hit him in his junk and make him sleep on the couch
iwadasn 33
46, why would he tell her about this fantasy multiple times if he didn't want it to actually happen?
Chixken 6
PHAGGOT
mikeymayhem_87 15
-10 Man points! now if it was 3 in the morning when you tried, Op.... Then shame on you!
kingharrison 4
is he gay?