Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blowjob. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
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Top comments
blcksocks 19
Don't trust men who value sleep more than a BJ. I would give up my sleep for that any day
jigglypuff34 16
He never saw it cumming!
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Comments (146)
mazdamanpr5 3
You ain't gotta be my girl, but you can wake me up with a ******** any day, and at any time!
brandoneyez1 25
Lmao. I'll take that bj!!! Lol
grannygruber 6
What is with the whole "if it was 3a it's ur fault"? My man likes to be awaken like that no matter what time it is or how little sleep he gets!
janexxdoe 7
My husband told me for months that he wanted me to wake him up with sex and every time I tried he would reject me in his sleep.
Jaxx0103 1
Lol my guy doesn't even wake up... Then gets mad cuz he missed the whole thing
taurusxdee 10
His fantasy was to be awakened with a *******? By you or a dude? Lol
jackiemora 18
Just tried that on my boyfriend not to long ago... And he woke up moaning and it resulting to us having sex. So yeah, something is wrong with your boyfriend because I don't know what guy wouldn't like to be woken up by blow-job.
gysgtware 4
You're not doing it right!
ambiebabii 1
I would've listened to his rant, waited for him to fall back to sleep and smacked the shit outta his balls...lol..when he woke up with the "WTF" attitude, I would've told him it was always MY sexy fantasy to make a man scream for me..looks like my fantasy worked out better for me than his did....bet then he'd be the one posting on here instead of me..lol
amberbelle 14
spontaneity is obviously not valued here.