Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
That was quick
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
The Great Pretender
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
Make your mind up!
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML
Gimme the D
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Top comments
kingodsucksville 18
Sleep is an amazing thing, don't interrupt it
danceinconverse 25
Wow, I'm thinking he's going to regret that when he's fully conscious. Hopefully he'll make it up to you!
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Comments (76)
nikkipettyfer 24
It's the thought that counts. There's nothing wrong with a second try!
beeneatenalive 12
Except taking another elbow
nikkipettyfer 24
He was obviously half asleep, and not aware of anything going on. If she tried again, more aware of the elbow, there's no reason that it wouldn't work.
DemHaxBro 20
Sounds like somebody didnt want sex
Indiantrolledd 16
He probably won't even remember it when he wakes up. OP's boyfriend was half-asleep while doing that
danceinconverse 25
Wow, I'm thinking he's going to regret that when he's fully conscious. Hopefully he'll make it up to you!
HighasaCloud 46
He has absolutely nothing to make up for. It is incredibly sexist to assume that just because OP's boyfriend is male, he will ALWAYS be into sex. The Y chromosome is not a substitute for consent, danceinconverse. I guarantee you would not feel apologetic if you elbowed your boyfriend for touching your ****** while you were sleeping. I bet you would feel he completely deserved it. Just as OP deserved getting elbowed.
shmoooopie 29
I dont think op deserved to get elbowed in the face. Nobody said that men want sex all the time. There's a lot of men and women who wouldn't mind being woken up for some morning sex. It always puts me in a great mood for the rest of the day
myanichole 22
Why do people get something sexist out of anything someone says?
Krypt1c 11
Nothing like a bit of ignorance huh #26? Seems you got that down to a T
a1_z9 10
I would totally not regret elbowing my partner in the face if he tried that, but that would be more out of not consenting to being woken up than not consenting to sex. It's just a bit silly expecting him to be able to go from 0 to 10 (10 being ready for sex) in a matter of seconds, especially when there's sleeping to be done, if you want something that goes on demand, get a vibrator.
tabbycat2007 22
Seriously 26? If you're in a committed, loving relationship, there should be nothing wrong to waking up to sex unless it's something that's been previously addressed as not okay. I'm all for explicit consent when it comes to hookups and sex with your partner, but once you've been in a relationship for a long period of time, you should know your partner well enough to know if they'd be into that or not. My boyfriend knows that I would love to wake up with his face between my legs on any given day. OP either doesn't know her boyfriend well enough to know his reaction to someone waking him up, or caught him in the middle of a bad dream. Either way, an elbow to the face was unnecessary.
MyNameIsLaughter 18
You guys are thinking way too deep into this. When I read this FML, I assumed that he did this in his sleep, meaning he didn't realize what he did. He wasn't fighting sexist stereotypes, he was sleeping.
lexa1love 16
No one said that all men want sex 24/7. This is something I think that differs in relationship. My fiancé and I both know that we could wake the other up to sex even at 2 am and we would both be down (unless we are working the next day). It's personal preference.
Nanu77 9
Either he had some sex hours ago or he is ill and you should call the doctor. A man ignoring sexual advance, that can't be right, can it?
Nanu77 9
.
rabidunicorn 13
Are you serious? Please tell me you aren't serious. That's something that couples can do for each other if they're both comfortable with it. Assuming they're sleeping in the same bed, naked, and presumably had sex recently, it's ok.
heyitsmikayla 14
You're wrong. Just because you're in a committed loving relationship does not mean that you would want to be woken up to sex all the time. Sometimes you're just not in the mood.
kingodsucksville 18
Sleep is an amazing thing, don't interrupt it
NotGabe 28
Sleep is my only love life. :(
SaniK 17
Men are unpredictable when they sleep. But at least he apologized :)
False_Stupidity 42
Women are unpredictable when asleep too, lets not stereotype here.
memed_fml 17
at least he said sorry?
cat4651 15
Even the manliest of men will choose sleep over sex when they are tired!
missyfiona89 28
Hint taken?
1dvs_bstd 41
Sleep > Sex
memed_fml 17
at least he said sorry?