Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, due to my lagging browser, I accidentally "liked" a status my friend made about the deterioration of her relationship. Then, the computer froze, making it impossible to "unlike" it immediately. My friend won't accept that it was a mistake. FML
Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML
Today, my boss came up to my desk to talk about a new project. He came up to my monitor so we can go to a website. My browser had frozen and I couldn't close it. The tabs I had open: Facebook, Gmail, Careerbuilder, Monster, and Resume Samples. FML
Today, a girl and her boyfriend dramatically left our group chat. One of her friends, a mod, is blaming me over a public exchange we had; he says it proves I "don't know her AT ALL." The crazy bitch called me every istaphobe in the book over not liking her favorite anime, and left because I told her to grow up. FML
Today, I tried reaching out to a girl on Facebook I thought I ended on good terms with after three dates. Not only did she not accept my friend request, she also disabled all friend requests. FML
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
Today, I was busy writing my English final paper and all of a sudden my computer just chose to freeze. I thought Microsoft Word would save it, but alas, 4 pages down the dumpster. Plus my earphones stopped working and I can't afford to buy a new pair. FML
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Top comments
zed34 18
Kristen Stewart shouldn't be in any movie... Ever....
flashback.miss 28
send her a spam of anti shades of gray pictures
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Comments (101)
zed34 18
Kristen Stewart shouldn't be in any movie... Ever....
DWordHead16 19
You're right. She doesn't express feelings/emotions well enough. Hahaha
Caitie_kid 8
Kristen Stewart is bad, but the fact that they're actually making this terrible series into a movie is worse.
LegolasPrincess 10
Adding Kristen would of just made 50 Shades of Grey even more shitty.
jasmine2301 25
50 Shades of Grey is amazing! What? are you so sexually deprived that you can't understand its meaning?
cmayer 20
I read this theory that says that Kristin Stewart read twilight and decided to play Bella exactly like she is written in the book. I choose to believe this just bc I've seen her actually displaying a personality and emotions in other movies and in interviews. Remember, no one hates twilight more than the stars of twilight.
wallandpiece 16
Kristen Stewart is great in 'On the Road'.
Caitie_kid 8
30 I've read better erotic scenes in a Nora Roberts novel. I'm sorry, but those books sucked. Here's an erotic scene from that book in a nutshell: He looks at her, she gasps, he touches her "down there", she flushes, she blushes, he gasps, she bites her lip, she refers to her genitals as down there a few more times, more flushing, more blushing, more gasping, more lip biting, end scene.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
In other movies she stars in she shows emotion. Maybe she didn't in Twilight because she hated it? I mean, most of the people who were part of that series hated it.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
#33. Isn't she nude in that movie?
ClaireWinchester 17
Kristen Stewart isn't a bad actress, it's the character in Twilight that sucks and shows no emotion
ShyAnn29 15
You're completely right 51, she was playing a character.
RonnieG 10
excellent description, #45. I could have written a better novel with a crayon.
lmngrl889 14
I've heard she has Social Anxiety, as do I. I wish people would leave her alone.
gottageek 17
30, not so sexually deprived to settle for any sad attempt at a bdsm novel. It's a little saddening how crappy books get published and the author is uninformed themselves. But I guess we shouldn't expect much from a book that was a fanfic based off another crappy book about abusive relationships and sparkly "vampires".
aliciagentry 8
Agreed!!!!!!!!!
carecow 16
What if the character Bella is so poorly and shallowly described as possible so that the readers (Mostly females) can easily replace her with themselves so they're able to emerge even deeper into the story? This is just my own theory but it seems like a pretty good sales trick. TLDR: What if Kirsten was supposed to act like a plank?
kayleighcupcake 14
everyone understands 50 shades, its just housewife ****. not that exciting and certainly not worth a film!
SirLemongrab 8
You shouldn't disrespect an actor or an actress just because you don't like one role they played... ever
ShyAnn29 15
I personally think that Kristen Stewart is a great actress, just because you may not like Twilight, doesn't mean that she's bad at what she does!
MrBoredomioo 18
tygdffx
jw90 18
That's the best thing I've ever heard.
jw90 18
Kristen Stewert not being in a movie I mean.
zBLAKEz 23
Now if only they were to cancel the movie all together...
jw90 18
This world would be a better place.
Enslaved 38
I heard its rumoured to be Selena Gonez.
NoFlippinWai 24
Gomez? not trying to be critical. but I hope we arent talking about the same person.
jw90 18
That's even worse. Children's lives will be forever scarred just as they are from Miley Cyrus.
gc327072 31
Selena Gomez? Now we're talking!
flashback.miss 28
send her a spam of anti shades of gray pictures
JordynnLOL 11
Ehh, made me look at it!
broderickc 13
#32, me too, that won't ever be unseen
xlord 27
@3 Ifeel like every response to you is either 'your picture freaks me out' or 'your name is a lie!!'
TheDrifter 24
Twitards, ruining lives since 2009.
ElizaZee 9
I actually LOLed at that one...
CharresBarkrey 16
Didn't Twilight come out in like 2005?
TheDrifter 24
I have no idea, I just figured it had to be at least 4 years.
SgtAssCheeks 21
God have mercy on your poor friend's soul. This is just sad news. FYL, maybe you should get a better laptop?
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Or she could upgrade friends, either option works.
truesarrif 33
Just goes to show girly gossip will only need to trouble Haha
hienzburgess 9
lead*
truesarrif 33
An obvious typo but thanks anyways ;)
jasmine2301 25
Should have saved your notes before opening another tab? Well that's what I do...
happle 21
Google Docs is good for that.
dalink 24
Time to upgrade that POS. Also, if you used Word then it should have a series of autosaves for unexpected closures... But obviously you wouldn't have posted this if that had actually been the case.
Carmstro 13
For that reason, I was surprised there weren't as many YDIs. Even on computers that work well I make sure to save after important edits.
yahoowizard 16
Unsaved=YDI every time
vipirius 18
Seriously is or that hard to save every 5 minutes?
alphatoomega 21
This is why you save before going to do something else online. Also, there's going to be a Fifty Shades movie?! Why must a perfectly good art medium be sullied so?
NoFlippinWai 24
so then we dont have to learn to read.
Lolthatsuxbroski 7
Why wouldn't u save it before you did anything else, that's your fault op... YDI
olpally 33
Your friend is really that kind of idiot... Wow. Who cars about the actress and that dumb ass book? It's not even going to be that good anyways. Time to find a better friend I think.
olpally 33
Cares* shit.
DWordHead16 19
Personally, I think that's pretty ****** up to try to get rid of a friend because you don't like what they like.. It might have been a stupid thing to do or she likes dumb things but that's no reason to give up on her. If she's a good, well-mannered friend that actually gives a flying **** about you, then stay friends! That's what it's all about. (: Food ****.