Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blowjob. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
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Top comments
blcksocks 19
Don't trust men who value sleep more than a BJ. I would give up my sleep for that any day
jigglypuff34 16
He never saw it cumming!
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Comments (146)
Geary519 20
u could wake me up like that any day
mkcherry 14
For some reason that is my significant others favorite thing in the world, but he's in the navy and a light sleeper, I have been put into a choke hold and once accidentally punched in the side of the head. Needless to say I make sure he's at least somewhat awake before I touch him at all ....
bigbadwolf078 4
What an idiot.
Blavock 12
Your boyfriends an ass
Steve_Dudley_UK 10
Your life sucks and sucks. But needn't suck anymore.