Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blowjob. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
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Top comments
blcksocks 19
Don't trust men who value sleep more than a BJ. I would give up my sleep for that any day
jigglypuff34 16
He never saw it cumming!
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Comments (146)
Banana_ham_ox 0
i had almost the same reaction when a gf mounted my morning wood while i was sleeping. i dont remember it but needless to say she was quite pissed and i never got it again :(
512bigt 10
hes probably gay
duckfan4life 1
He's an idiot that's almost every guys fantasy and he jus blew it off what a moron
Steve95401 49
Dump his stupid ass then he'll have plenty of time for his precious beauty rest.
tonygar 17
I wish I was woken up with a BJ...
StanSmith2013 26
Should have got the shavers out and pretended to make his lower region bald. The noise of the blades would have got him up!
chrissy2 28
That happened to me last week...
HeartOfLead 24
Man down... As for you, OP, you fell victim to the ihavealimphoohooinmymouth-itis. Needless to say, there too many of these failed BJ FMLs.
DollyDope 17
Sounds like you weren't doing a very good job...and have an ungrateful & rude boyfriend
DogStew 20
I'm so sorry your boyfriend is a ******! I would face hump you into the next millennium.