Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML
Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss pulled me into his office and gave me a write-up for quitting, told me that he knows where I live, and that I'd better be at work tomorrow or he's going to come and drag me into work. FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML
Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML
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Top comments
Streeet_hayley 6
He wants to eat you...no mistake.
InfinityCross 1
Neither. Get him a dictionary
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Comments (221)
mnmolino 14
If he dose fire you, you know your smarter than him because you can spell better. If he dose fry you, hopefully you're already dead when it happens.
lidsthesquid 4
Does*
Dcm210 19
take the letter,turn it into the police or his boss.
lithiafaith 0
Show the note to your bosses boss
finalcountdown 3
@37 he what? quiet? bit of a fail there my friend :L
Shrike 24
the whole "let's pretend to be a total sarcasm-blind retard" thing got old ages ago.
SanDiegoGirl111 3
84 it appears you didn't get the joke within the FML nor did you get DocBastard's joke. I'm sorry for your loss.
SummerFever 8
It's times like this where I wish that I own a shotgun.
lmaoatall 6
And that's when you grab the letter, and when he reaches for it from your crotch that you safely placed, you throw yourself on the floor outside his office door. Crying and putting on your best Peter griffin, ooo god, he touched me. When your coworker try to console you, roll away and tell them, don't, it hurts. See who's balls will get fried then!
alycion 39
Never resign if you know a firing is coming. Look for something else and if nothing pops at least fired means unemployment.
sxdryv 14
Quick take bereavement leave then come back and take stress Leave. Milk the company! **** em
ZXDriver 0
Maybe he means "fried" as in stoned.. Which still doesn't make much sense seeing as he is your boss.
CommanderBalls 10
Take a sh*t on his desk then just quit
thecovert 7
Ask him about it. Could avoid it unless you want to be fires and collect unemployment.