Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, after spending thousands on 4 failed IVF attempts, my husband of 3 years told me he had a drunken one night stand last month with his ex, who he said he hasn’t spoken to in years, is pregnant with his baby. There goes our future together. I thought trust and being honest meant something, but obviously not. FML
Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML
Today, I got the results proving if my ex-girlfriend's kid was mine. The results came back negative and I can't have kids. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have 3 kids with my wife. FML
Today, I found I’m pregnant. I hooked up with my ex when my now boyfriend and I had broken up for a week. My ex doesn’t want kids. It’s most likely my ex's kid. My boyfriend has now proposed. FML
Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML
Today, my husband is leaving me because he did a paternity test on our 4 year-old daughter and found out she’s not his. The night of my bachelorette party I drunkenly hooked up with two men so I don’t know who the father is. He doesn’t understand that I was drunk and that family isn’t about blood, it’s about love. FML
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Top comments
Olovio 5
If only you were a witch. You could just point your wand at your uterus and shout FETUS DELETUS!
SkardeyKat 3
I've been in a situation almost exactly like this. Think twice before making any decisions based on fear of the unknown. My children ended up being such a blessing and saved my life. And to think, I didn't even want them!
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Comments (56)
Olovio 5
If only you were a witch. You could just point your wand at your uterus and shout FETUS DELETUS!
melchibr_fml 0
Anybody have a coat hanger?
melchibr_fml 0
Anybody have a coat hanger?
Epic_Fail911 15
Are you the girl with the boyfriend who used the same condom for saving money?
Lanceeden 12
JELLYLEGS JINX
beckybecks20 8
Sucks for you!
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
I didn't know Kourtney Kardashian was pregnant again.
Grimmerie 31
20 - Who would have guessed that the counter-curse was just Unjellify?!
midgetMANjay 7
you better keep the child, it's your own fault. a baby shouldn't have to die for your stupidity. YDI
Shrike 24
Don't bother feeding this ******* troll, people. Just bury the moron..
midgetMANjay 7
lol i knew i would get thumbs downed for that
Feklfekl2222 32
I really hate anti-abortion idiots, I know I'm feeding the troll
socoolsophie 4
You can abort the pregnancy or you can get back with your ex and be a mom tough choice, good luck... Its your fault though.. Just saying they made condoms for a reason
Iknoweverything 29
Who says you need to be with the guy who knocked you up in order to be a mom? There's such thing as "child support" you know!
RA661 8
But a second parent will certainly help a lot more. Nonetheless, it will be responsible of him to do so. (and her as well. YDI)
Daralea 21
Well, obviously the ex wanted kids, so yay for him!
StopDropNRoll 11
Alcohol > condoms sometimes sadly.
ohSNAPyall 27
True, 21. It's a false dichotomy. 3 also left out the adoption option.
jessesgirl14 16
Adoption is always an option
dcaruso 1
Stupid ****. Really? Child support? Working is not an option for u? Go reproduce with your cousin. We need more freak show attractions.
withered 30
Who said that OP's partner would be the one paying child support? OP is the one that does not want the kid and if she gives birth and her ex wants to keep it then SHE would be the one paying.
joee182 3
thats what you get ha next time use protection-.-
whitey317 0
Was he worth it?
SkardeyKat 3
I've been in a situation almost exactly like this. Think twice before making any decisions based on fear of the unknown. My children ended up being such a blessing and saved my life. And to think, I didn't even want them!
krad204 21
That... that sucks...
InfinityCross 1
Children here they come! :)
cptmorgan6 8
Keep your legs closed when you're drunk. Unless you want more kids, of course. Then spread those puppies apart!
Lidiya8lml 0
Real smooth. Next time don't get wasted in the first place